Grif.Net

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed. A “friend of a friend” put him in touch with…

At the asylum, three patients were up for evaluation. The doctor decided to start with a simple cognitive intelligence test. He asked the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” he replied. The Doctor repeated the question to the second man, “What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replied the…

“Desert Caravan”, by Rhoda Camel. “The Philippine Post Office”, by Imelda Letter. “Things to Do at a Party”, by Bob Frapples. “Stop Arguing”, by Xavier Breath. “Come on In!”, by Doris Open. “The German Bank Robbery”, by Hans Zupp. “I Hate the Sun”, by Gladys Knight. “Don’t Fence Me In”,…

[AG forwarded this story for the grif.net] Hospital regulations required a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman – already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet – who insisted he did NOT need any…

Enjoying Memorial Day Weekend, the wife and I were catching some sun at the ocean when we noticed a girl with a back pack. She would approach people with boom boxes and other electronic devices and speak softly to them. Occasionally she would reach in her pack, exchange a small…

PRAYER FOR PEACE, MEMORIAL DAY, 2013 BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA A PROCLAMATION Since our Nation’s earliest days, America has been blessed with an unbroken chain of patriots who have served our country with honor and distinction. From Concord to the Korengal, generations of brave warriors…

[Some old, some new – all good reading!!] “School Truancy”, by Marcus Absent. “Positive Reinforcement”, by Wade Ago. “The Lion Attacked”, by Claude Yarmoff. “I Lost My Balance”, by Eileen Dover and Phil Down. “How to Write Big Books”, by Warren Peace. “The Art of Archery”, by Beau N. Arrow.…

MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?” COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: “I don’t care where you’ve been or what you’ve discovered. You still could have written!” MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER: “Can’t you paint on walls like…

The top 10 names for new line of Wal-Mart Wines 10. Chateau Traileur Parc 9. White Trashfindel 8. Big Red Gulp 7. Grape Expectations 6. NASCARbernet 5. Chef Boyardeaux 4. Peanut Noir 3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar! 2. World Championship Riesling 1. Nasti Spumante ~~ Dr Bob Griffin…

I was visiting with a young man studying to be a pastor. As a veteran of the pulpit for 43 years, I was immediately interested and asked, “What subjects are you studying at school?” The young seminarian said, “You know, the usual – Greek, Church History, Pastoral Ministry and Systematic…

A woman brought a very limp duck into the veterinarian clinic. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has…

Reflection: Ten years ago on Mother’s Day I broke my foot. No pain. Wife looked at toes (2 at 90 degree right angle from side of foot). She reset them. Still no pain. On Monday May 12, 2003 I went to the foot doctor for x-rays and a “boot”. He…

A distinguished clergyman and his friend were playing golf. It was a very close match, and at the last hole the clergyman teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force. The ball, instead of sailing down the fairway, merely rolled off the tee and settled slowly…