Grif.Net

My teenage daughter turned down a job as a restaurant hostess because it just an entry level position. A golf buddy has now taken up playing pool. He loves pool tables because there are six holes in one. Dave reminded me that alcohol and calculus do not mix, so please…

“How was your blind date for the Halloween Party?” a lovely young clerk at our office asked her co-worker. “Terrible!” the gal answered. “He came by to pick me up in a fedora driving his 1932 Rolls Royce.” “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What could be so bad about…

Overheard by kids choosing costumes for Halloween: “I want undress up and go as Miley Cyrus.” “I want to go trick-or-treating as a skeleton, but I have nobody to go with.” “I want to go out all wrapped in white bandages head-to-foot, but I don’t think I’m ready to be…

[Passed on to me as true. I’d believe it.] Our mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home to check on us. She’d forgotten to charge her cell phone, so used the motel room phone and called collect. Since my dad…

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists’ canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: “Can you please cut some canvas for me?” Me: “Certainly, what width?” Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) “Scissors?”…

[True story, shared by a friend] My son Gilbert was eight years old and had been in Cub Scouts only a short time. During one of his meetings he was handed a sheet of paper, a block of wood and four tires and told to return home and give all…

[A friend shared this story] Half-way thru the fall semester and the teachers are all giving tests to their classes at the same time. My young niece was up late studying when I went down the hall to her room. I was about to tell her to go to sleep…

[These were posted on an Australian tourism website, and the answers are the actual responses by the website official . . with a great sense of humor] Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A:…

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. ‘No, no, no!’ she screamed. ‘Lizzie,’ scolded her mother, ‘that’s not polite behavior.’ With that, the girl yelled even louder, ‘No,…

[‘Tis the Season for all things football, so I thought the repeat of an old Grif.Net blog from 15+ years ago seemed appropriate. Defining Church activity in football terms:] Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the final song. Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin…

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt.” The boy looked up at Dad wide-eyed, thought about…

Recently I came across a wonderful hymn set to the old English air “The Ash Grove” and was amazed to see it was Sarah Doudney’s handiwork. (see Saturday Oct 5th’s Grif.Net for her story and another poem) It was first sung at the funeral of Charles Haddon Spurgeon. THE MASTER…

A mother and her 6-year old son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal…