Grif.Net

A couple of clams were eating candy bars while two fish watched. “Did you see that?” one fish said, as the clams finished their treat. “They ate it all and didn’t offer us a single bite!” “What did you expect?” asked the other. “Obviously they’re two shellfish.” ~~ Dr Bob…

[As I’ve gotten older I realized I’m always glad to share my ignorance. I’ve got plenty.] *Experience is a hard teacher. It gives the test first and then the lesson. *You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. *Cleaning house with kids around is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.…

[More titles or good lines for your favorite country crooner. Some are actual lines from songs, I’m told.] “Dad, You’ve Always Been like a Father to Me” “If Your Phone Never Rings, You’ll Know it was Me” “She Never Calls Me on Wednesdays” “I Hate it When my Friends Get…

[I am working on some honest but oh-so-misleading lines about my daily exercise regimen. I want people to think I am a ‘fitness’ buff. Sadly, ‘fatness’ is a more accurate word. But you are free to try these out.] *I named my dog ‘Five Miles’ so I can tell folks…

(A couple times in my 44 years of ministry I’ve served at the college level. In 1984-88 I was Dean of a Small College in the Dallas area. 1996-2000 I was Professor at Pillsbury College in Minnesota. These insights come from years of careful evaluation) PRESIDENT – Leaps tall buildings…

[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net or for those reading the daily blog on www.grif.net or on Facebook – on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This…

March 14th is an auspicious day in the history of America because of the phenomenal number of great people born on that single day. March 14th – Albert Einstein, the great theoretical physicist March 14th – Billy Crystal, the great comedian March 14th – Eugene Cernan, the great Apollo astronaut…

My friend Skip was given an application for life insurance and found it difficult to fill out the forms honestly. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and Skip said that he was uncomfortable with the question about the cause of death of his father. Of course the insurance agent…

Lisa wrote us that when she filled out a rental application for a new apartment, it asked, ‘Do you own any liquid-filled furniture?’ She wondered, “Couldn’t they just have said ‘waterbed’? How many other forms of liquid-filled furniture are there?” So she wrote, “Yeah, I have a milk couch. Will…

This riddle is simple to test your adding skills. It must be done IN YOUR HEAD ONLY and NOT using paper and pen. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What…

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her…

A Parable for Teachers who are anxiously looking for Spring Break. The story is fictional but gives a tongue-in-cheek look at how things might have been in Rabbi Jesus’ class: Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around him, he taught them, saying: Blessed are the…

[I am having fun coming up with odd names for quartets, based on word-play and occupation. May be a grif.net quiz in a few years, but still in the “lame” condition. So sharing it and wide open to other names from YOU. Must have “four” in the title. And sort…