Grif.Net

1. I was forced to wash as a child. 2. People who wash are hypocrites — They think they’re cleaner than others. 3. There are so many kinds of soap, I could never decide which was right. 4. I used to wash, but it got boring. 5. I wash only…

A grandmother was telling her granddaughter what her own childhood was like: *I used to skate outside on a pond. *I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. *I loved to ride our pony. *I picked wild raspberries with my mom…

I am PROUD of being theologically “fundamental”, but sometimes have to poke fun at my own foibles (and especially at the lunatic fringe that actually believe some of this stuff and stolen the word “fundamentalist”). You MAY BE a “fundamentalists” if . . . You pronounce “sin” with two syllables.…

[Midweek Quiz where we share MASCULINE words and you come up with their FEMININE counterparts. Some easy; some not. Do NOT use Google.] Example: Groom is masculine; correct feminine counter would be “Bride” ______________ 1. Bachelor ______________ 2. King ______________ 3. Drake ______________ 4. Lord ______________ 5. Master ______________ 6.…

[Here is help for you to know what to pitch and what to save] THE GAG TEST = Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night). EGGS = When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg…

[Twist on our monthly bad puns – this are pun-ishing definitions] Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes. Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston. Alarms: What an octopus is. Dockyard: A physician’s garden. Oboe: An English tramp. Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose. Toboggan: Why we go…

A snowstorm in the South is about as rare as a glass of unsweetened tea at a church supper. Folks around Birmingham, Ala. weren’t all that worried though. The storm was only supposed to ‘dust’ the city – not even enough powder for a Southern snowman. So when the first…

Jonah: SAVE THE WHALES Uriah: TAKE A HITTITE TO LUNCH Israelites: HONK IF YOU LOVE MOSES Cain: CELEBRATE NATIONAL BROTHERHOOD WEEK Lot: IF YOU CAN SEE SODOM, YOU’RE TOO CLOSE Elijah: MY OTHER CHARIOT ROLLS Joshua: JERICHO MUST GO Goliath: VOTE TO BAN SLINGSHOTS Canaanites: VOTE NO ON THE SECOND…

Midweek Quiz on “who” invented each of the following. Give yourself bonus points if you also know the first name. 1. ____________ = Phonograph 2. ____________ = Safety Razor 3. ____________ = Telephone 4. ____________ = Law of Heredity 5. ____________ = Revolver 6. ____________ = Railway Sleeping Car 7.…

We live in a technological age so am thinking of revising our Sunday worship. It would go like this: WELCOME: “Praise the Lord!” “Hallelujah!” HYMN: “Download YouTube iTunes songs from the OurChurch.Com channel to be listened to at your leisure during the week c-l-i-c-k-s…… SERMON: “Will everyone please turn on…

[These are MORE “answers” to Bible questions – some a little too clever to be “spontaneous”, but as Art Linkletter would remind us, “Kids say the darndest things”] IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESS, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF. ADAM…

Amazing stats on personal habits, choices and character. Where do YOU fit in? Tom Corley [RichHabitsInstitute.com] outlines a few of the differences between the habits of the rich and the poor in the USA: 70% of wealthy eat less than 300 junk food calories per day 97% of poor people…

[Bob in Lusk, Wyoming, shared this story] In Wyoming, an old cowboy walked into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut. He told the barber he couldn’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks were wrinkled from age. The barber got a little wooden ball from a cup…