Grif.Net

I know it is Daylight Saving Time because . . . I’m so sleepy that I can’t get up and then jump out of bed thinking I’ve overslept! I stagger to the bathroom and fall over the dog that is still sound asleep. The timer on my coffee pot isn’t…

[As my faithful readers know, during the week we send inane humor, but on the weekend we focus on serious moral, ethical, political or religious issues. This is a true story.] One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God at her heart. She responded…

[Random thoughts from myself and my friends] The yogurt aisle is so confusing now. It’s all Greek to me. If ceiling fans could bear my weight, I don’t think I’d ever be bored again. I’ve decided there aren’t enough days in the weekend. I still have my Christmas Tree. I…

I enjoyed reading Richard Lederer’s OLD WORDS AND PHRASES REMIND US OF THE WAY WE ‘WORD’” –phrases from the past — and I think I had heard all and used most. How time flies and how fast the dictionary becomes obsolete! Lederer writes: “About a month ago, I illuminated old…

[Marilyn forwards this cogent explanation of issues some of us have with aging. Totally unrelated to how well you did on yesterday’s food quiz.] Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts…

[Another installment of our weekly trivia quiz to help your appetite for knowledge. Everything has to do with FOOD today.] 1. What condiment is most commonly used on French Fries in Japan? 2. What did American GI’s in World War II call “ham that failed a physical”? 3. What is…

Many grif.net readers do not know I earned my doctorate in palindromes. My students now refer to me as Dr Awkward. I never play cards in the Serengeti. Too many cheetahs there. Mathematicians should wear glasses because I heard they improve division. Is “subway” a transitive noun? Well-known experts fear…

When a young woman started to complain to her mother about “life”, how things were so hard that she didn’t know how she was going to make it and how she wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling; it seemed as one problem was solved, a…

My good friend opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died! He quickly phoned me. “Did you see the morning paper?” he asked with a smile in his voice. “They say I died!!” I assured him, “Yes, I saw it!” But…

(AP) New York City. A truck loaded with cases of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York printer last night. According to the Associated Press, witnesses said they were stunned, startled, aghast, taken back, stupefied, confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, astonished,…

[Tried to make a top ten, but at least got six before the wife started in] Eve was NOT plus-sized because . . #6 – It only took one rib to make her. #5 – The account reads, “I will make an help meet for him” not a “meaty helper!”…

[Keeping your brains fit for challenges ahead with useless trivia today! What do each of these groups have “in common”?] 1. Thomas Jefferson Snodgrass, Sergeant Fathom, and W. Apaminondas Adrastus Blab? 2. Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye? 3. Crumb Box, Brain Wagon, Strawberry Patch, and Loose Cage? 4. Borsolino, Porkpie,…

[What are people REALLY thinking? Here are some “confessions” going on in the minds of my friends and I just may adopt a few of these!] I decided to kick the guy who causes me the most problems in life. Now I can’t sit down. Lord, if I can’t be…