Grif.Net

In addition to the individual “school pictures” taken each grade, as the school year ended the children were all photographed as a class. Their teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think,” she said, “how nice it will be to look…

[Many students have spent the last 9 months in college and maybe, just maybe, gotten too used to that life. Do YOU need to go home for the summer?] Maybe you’ve been in college too long if . . . *You consider McDonald’s to be “real food”. *You would actually…

A small boy was struggling with his math homework. After a while, he turned to his father and asked, “Dad, can you help me?” His father frowned and said, “I could, son, but you know that just wouldn’t be right, would it?” “Probably not,” said the boy, “But you could…

Having seen their twelve-year-old son fail every subject in school the fall semester, my friends decided to send him to a special tutor this spring. As the semester was winding down, they asked the tutor how he was doing. “Well, now he’s getting straight A’s,” said the tutor. “That’s great,”…

Jill accompanied her husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, she found a hairstyle she liked for herself, so she asked the barber if she could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo. “Leave some ID, a driver’s license or a…

While countries around the world celebrate their own Mother’s Day at different times throughout the year, several countries, including the United States, Italy, Australia, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, and Turkey celebrate it on the second Sunday of May. In the United States, the origins of the official holiday go back to…

[Final set on “insults” to use on your friends or enemies who ain’t got the good sense that God gave a turnip. These all come from Grif.Net Blog readers, who obviously fit the above description well.] 41. Dropped on his head one too many times. 42. Too many bats in…

[Installment #4 of “politically correct” ways to say someone is “half a bubble off plumb”, as sent in to the Grif.Net by YOU all over the past couple days.] 31. About as sharp as a marble. 32. A few bricks shy of a full load. 33. If brains were dynamite,…

[Third installment of “politically correct” ways to say someone is just not too bright] 21. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. 22. Her sewing machine’s out of thread. 23. His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels. 24. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.…

[Adding to Monday’s Grif.Net blog, here are ten more “politically correct” ways to say someone is just plain “dumber than a bag of hammers”] 11. He’s out surfing in Nebraska. 12. The cheese slid off his cracker. 13. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. 14. Warning: Objects in mirror are…

[Now that the “R” word is taboo, ethnic jokes are not considered funny, and my own kids/grandkids would kill me if I mention ‘blonde’ . . here are some “politically correct” ways to say someone is just plain stupid] 1. A few clowns short of a circus. 2. A few…

There was a large group of people gathered. On one side of the group stood a man, Jesus. On the other side stood another, Satan. Separating them was a fence running through the group. The scene set, both Jesus and Satan began calling to people in the group. One by…

Heard that Noah’s ark was built out of wood because they didn’t have arc welders back then. Looking at buying a new bike. Heard that a new 27″ model has wheels larger than most, according to a company spokesman. Does a criminal walking down steps seem condescending to you? I…