Grif.Net

Academy Award-winning actor Denzel Washington’s very first piece of advice Saturday for graduates of Dillard University consisted of just three words. “Number one,” he said slowly and resolutely. “Put. God. First!” “Put God first in everything you do. Everything you have is by the grace of God. Understand that. It’s…

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If 86% of Americans spit out watermelon seeds, does that mean 14% actually swallow them? Why is lemon juice made from artificial lemon flavoring, while furniture polish uses real lemons? Are the new food groups “canned”, “frozen” and…

[I enjoy simple quizzes. Some are not as easy as they look. Answers tomorrow for those still struggling!!] 1. What letter is next in this sequence? M, A, M, J, J, A, S, O,__ 2. How can you arrange the letters in NEW DOOR to make one word? 3. What…

Marilyn shared her diet report: “Don’t mean to brag, but I finished a two-week diet in 3 hours and 5 minutes!” Another friend suggested the “see-food diet”. Only eat when you see food. My response? “I was also on a two-week diet. I lost a whopping 14 days.” ~~ Dr…

A woman was lamenting to my wife that she had gained weight. She’d made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they’d eaten half of it at dinner. Since she was dieting, she ate only a tiny slice. The next day, she said, she kept staring at…

[On the first weekday of the month I send out lame puns on my blog. My doctor is checking into possible causes of this odd ailment of mine.] My friend who is a monorail enthusiast was told by his doctor he had a one-track mind. Another shared his dream –…

Today is the REAL historic Memorial Day. It started with Confederate widows and children adorning graves of the fallen of the Second Revolutionary War (1861-1865). Within a year, as spring came again, former slaves were doing the same on the graves of Union POW’s who had died in prisons in…

Following the final exams in History of Civilization class (when an unusually large number of students flunked), one of the boys went to his professor, and said, “I don’t think this is fair, sir; I don’t think I should have gotten an ‘F’ on this test.” “I agree with you,”…

New wife – “The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.” New Husband – “Which is this?” ~~ In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they…

[The following are actual items found on restaurant menus and in shops around the world in which people have tried to use English words to describe products. Your guess is as good as mine as to what the products actually are!] *Boiled Frogfish – Czech Republic *Buttered saucepans and fried…

My good friend Jim asked me what I had gotten Teresa for Mother’s Day a couple weeks ago. I replied, “I bought her a bag and a belt.” Jim was shocked, “Really? That was good thinking. I’m sure she appreciated those.” I shook my head no as I responded, “I…

[While I am a traditionalist and celebrate Memorial Day on May 30, I know many who have bought into the “long weekend” mentality. So celebrating it both today AND Saturday. Of course funny today, with more serious on the real Memorial Day] Little Jonah stood at attention watching the rows…

In 1887 Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior: “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to…