Grif.Net

[For July/August/September, the Friday Grif.Net humor is real Newspaper Headlines collected over the past years] Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply Residents Can Drop Off Trees Local High School Dropouts…

[our odyssey of really bad word plays for August continues – just a couple more and then back to normal bad humor] This English landlady had a couple of struggling poets for tenants. Seems the poor fellows got behind in their rent, and the landlady was unable to have them…

Smitty was a heating and cooling technician. His assistant was a small chimpanzee he had trained to do all the duct work. The chimp had no fear of heights or confined spaces, and besides, he didn’t have to be paid. One day, Smitty got a call from a customer who…

John got a new Wiener Dog, but didn’t want to have puppies so he got her fixed. However, somehow his dog still got pregnant, and even had identical twin puppies! The media loved it and soon she was a celebrity. John wrote a book about her and even had a…

Two painters, one an old man and the other his young apprentice, were painting a very large home. It was getting late in the day when they reached the second floor. There ahead of them was a lengthy corridor. The older painter said, “I’ve had enough for one day. I’m…

[From a story based on National Geographic magazine] After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno’s damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat…

[For July/August, each Friday Grif.Net has focused on real Newspaper Headlines from the past decades] Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Line Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1,000 in 2004 Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Deer…

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to his Pastor for marriage counseling. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes. “Oh” said…

Two cowboys were standing inside a building at the Cheyenne Frontier Days rodeo. Looking out a window, they saw the arena’s custodian, a very frail woman who couldn’t weigh 95 pounds soaking wet, trying to clean up trash from the grounds. In the strong Wyoming wind, she was having a…

Today in 1943 marked the celebration of the fall of Sicily in World War II. It reminded me of the story of General George Patton who was preparing to take the city of Palermo. He checked with his meteorologists and learned the day he had chosen would be incredibly rainy.…

A mother pig was walking through the barnyard one day with one of her piglets. Suddenly, a raccoon raced out from behind the barn and scared the living daylights out of the mother pig. The little hog laughed to see such sport and the sow jumped over the coon. ~~…

At first, I saw God as my Judge, an observer keeping track of the things I did wrong. I knew I could never merit heaven when I die, no matter how many good things I did. He was out there sort of like a President. I recognized His picture when…

[For July/August, each Friday Grif.Net will focus on real Newspaper Headlines garnered over the past years] British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Eye Drops off Shelf Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus…