Grif.Net

Two girls were chatting in Algebra class.  One = said, "I saw and your boyfriend at lunch. He’s really cute. I = love his blond hair and blue eyes." She smiled. "Yeah, and you know he’s got a = twin, too!" "Really? How can you tell them = apart? She…

Goo= d News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You = lost two of them in the swift current.   Goo= d News: The Women’s Missionary Group voted to send you a get-well = card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.   Goo= d News: The Elder…

[I read Chuck Swindoll’s = story and reminded me of God’s perfect timing in so many parts of = life] In September, Terry Shafer was = strolling the shops in Moline, Illinois. She knew exactly what she = wanted to get her husband, David, for Christmas. A little shop on…

  Forget Friday the = 13th. Insurers say a Monday the 27th is really the = unluckiest day. More people suffer mishaps, have an accident or break = something when the 27th is a Monday than on any other day = according to 20th Century insurance records.  (Next = Monday…

Forget = Friday the 13th. Insurers say a Monday the 27th is = really the unluckiest day. More people suffer mishaps, have an accident = or break something when the 27th is a Monday than on any = other day according to 20th Century insurance records.  = (Next Monday the…

[Many readers LOVED the lame selection of Bumper = Stickers yesterday and so immediately forwarded your own.  They are = NOT that much better.]   Don’t annoy me, I’m running out = of places to hide the bodies   Quiet Please – Driver = sleeping   Warning: I have an…

[Salute to Veterans everywhere]   As Sergeant = with the 3rd US Volunteer Infantry, Company I, I had 20 men = in my unit. One day I told them: "I have a nice easy job for the = laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest."…

[Keep seeing odd ones, or hearing about great ideas on = the ‘net.  So here is another installment]   Don’t rush me I get paid by the = hour.   Why am I the only person on = earth that knows how to drive?   If you drink, don’t drive.…

A politician is someone who = shakes your hand before an election and your confidence after = it.   Remember: The politicians who = promise pie-in-the-sky are planning to use your dough for = it. It’s tough being a = politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other…

A teacher began her story . . .   A cruise = ship met with an accident at sea. On the ship was a couple with an = infant. Making their way to the lifeboat, they realized that there was = only space for just one of them left. The…

Politicians are a bit like = restless sleepers.First they lie on one side, and then on the = other.   In a recent town-hall debate, = one candidate jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the = evil powerful interest that controls you?" And the other = politician…

Did you hear about the man who = stole 10 bars of soap from a supermarket?He made a clean = getaway.   Did you hear about the man put = on a clean pair of socks every day of the week.By Friday he could = hardly get his shoes on.…

To my children: Never make fun of having to help = your Dad with computer stuff. Remember, I taught you how to use a = spoon. ~~To my math students:There is a fine line between = a numerator and a denominator.Sadly, only a fraction of you will = understand this.…