Grif.Net

Walking up to = a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want = to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it = cost?"   "Only a = kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male = clerk.   "That’s = fine," replied the…

While working = on a car, a mechanic accidentally swallowed some brake fluid. To his = surprise, he quite liked the taste.   The next day = he decided to have another swig and enjoyed it so much that he told his = friend.   His friend = said: "You…

[Every month or so I collect “updates” from my friends shared on Twitter and Facebook. Some are funny, some more accurate than we’d care to admit.] My recliner and I go way back . . I try to watch what I eat, but it goes by so quickly . .…

I spent the week before my daughter’s June wedding = running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the = church about forty miles away. As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying = a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I =…

10/02/15 Grif.Net – Not Home Enjoying = a nice refreshing shower, a wife was interrupted when her husband poked = his head in the = bathroom to ask: = "What should I give = Lily for = lunch?" Although = he was always very good with their baby daughter, there…

Are cardboard belts just a waist of paper? The newspaper wrote about the raisin who cheated on his wife. You may read about it in the currant affairs section. I used to go to an origami class at the Senior Center until it folded. A person who saves ALL the…

09/30/15 Grif.Net – Shoes Two = sisters came home from school in floods of tears. "Whatever is the matter?" asked their = mother. The = first sister sobbed; "The kids at school make fun of my big = feet." "There, there," soothed the mother. "Your = feet aren’t that big."…

09/29/15 Grif.Net – Baptist? I raised my = kids as Baptists. One of my sons is a Southern Baptist Missionary pastor = and the other a Baptist pastor, ordained Regular Baptist. My daughter is = Independent Baptist. And I pastor a Reformed Baptist church.   = You, too, might be a…

09/28/15 Grif.Net – Long Sermon Did I preach a = long sermon yesterday?  Here are ways to plan ahead if the sermon = might be a little too long: *When you = notice a case = of bottled water in a cooler beside the pulpit. *When = the pews have…

This story = sent to us by a nurse:   "It was a = busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his = 80’s, presented to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that = he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at…

On the = passing of baseball great Yogi Berra, we submit some of his famous = sayings “It ain’t over till it’s = over.” “It’s deja vu all over = again.” “I usually take a two-hour nap = from 1 to 4.” “Never answer an anonymous = letter.” “You can…

[Another short batch of puns to help those still looking in my window every night to see if there are more.] Last night the wife and I watched three Star Wars DVD’s back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV. Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for…

A young boy woke up early in the morning and = decided he would do something special for his visiting = Grandmother.  He had learned how to use the Keurig, so fixed her a = cup of morning coffee and surprised her with it in bed.   Grandma was thrilled…