Grif.Net

Dust if you must . . . but wouldn’t it be = betterTo paint a picture, or write a letter? Bake a cake, or plant a seed? Ponder the difference between want and need. =   Dust if you must . . . but there is not much = time,With…

[Dads. Lame jokes.  Can’t live with them, = and can’t live with them.]   My wife told = me to quit impersonating a flamingo.  I had to put my foot = down.   I bought shoes from my drug dealer. Not sure what he = laced them with, but I’ve…

FINE= = This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and = you need to zip it. NOTH= ING= The calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be = worried. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in = fine. GO-A=…

I read an article that said someone in New York City = is stabbed every 42 seconds.I feel really sorry for = him.   ~~ I don’t = regret burning my bridges. I do = regret certain people weren’t on those bridges.   ~~ Sometimes I = question my sanity.…

A friend shared about his troubles finding a date. = “I found it unusual that all the gals I know called me = ugly until they found out how much money I had in the bank. Now = they call me ugly and poor.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin =…

A fellow walked into a restaurant, sat down and = started dialing numbers as if there was a telephone in his hand. He then = put his palm up against his cheek and began talking.   Suspicious, the manager walked over and told him = that he was in a…

Heavenly Father,   Help = me remember that the jerk who cut me off in traffic last night is a = single mother who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to = cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious = moments…

Sighing, the = history professor rapidly scanned the US History term paper on = "EARLY AMERICAN RAILWAYS" submitted by the class dunce.  = He determined almost at a glance that large portions had been lifted = verbatim and without attribution from Samuel Clemens’ "The = Gilded Age" and "Innocents =…

[My daughter who was born with the same = wanderlust as her father shared 10 MORE signs you are addicted to travel = – see grif.net 02/23/16 for part one]   11. You’re a proud charter member of the = Rick Steves fan club. 12. The Southwest Airlines agent says,…

I heard about the = kidnapping at the elementary school yesterday. Everything’s fine. He = woke up. I can’t eat = breakfast without a couple slices of wheat on the side because I’m = lack-toast intolerant. I want to stop buying = more clothes for fall, but I always end…

It’s hard to beat a boiled egg in the = morning. I used to eat either a = bagel or a doughnut every single day, but then I got tired of the hole = thing. A friend told me = he’s not happy with his butler with a missing left…

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – = Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is an example of how this = condition manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my = car and…

Once, a girl = bought an iPad. When her father saw it he asked, "What was the = first thing you did when you bought it?" His daughter = replied, "I put an anti-scratch sticker on the screen and bought a = cover for the iPad” "Did someone = force…