Grif.Net

An elderly pastor = was dying and wanted a clean conscience. He shared with his wife some of = his secret thoughts, then asked her if she had any secrets from more = than five decades of marriage She took out a box from the close = that she had…

I hate being bi-polar. It’s = awesome.   No, you may not "axe" me a = question. I don’t speak welfare.   I hope the friends that haven’t called me in = a while know how much I appreciate that.   I’ve never seen a tombstone that read: = "Died…

Did you hear about the guy whose wife threw a bottle = of omega-3 pills at this head?He’s been hospitalized with = super fish oil injuries. Did you hear about my perfect grandson = who has never failed a class, doesn’t drink/smoke or come home = late?He will be six…

Heard that in Denver = there’s a job fair that will cater exclusively to the cannabis industry. = Fifteen marijuana-related businesses will be hiring people for a variety = of job openings. It’s a little different. These companies actually test = to make sure you are on drugs.   The…

This = Sunday we remember and honor mothers on the anniversary of the first = national Mother’s Day.  That fame often is fleeting, and the = memories of most men and women short, hits home once more by the story = of the founder of Mother’s Day. Miss Anna =…

10. = Samson! Get your = hand out of that lion. You don’t know where it’s = been!       9. David! I told you = not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay = good money for those lessons!       = 8. Abraham! Stop wandering…

JUNK: Dad’s stuff. KISS: Mom medicine. LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business = venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and = sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for = three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.…

EYE: The highly susceptible optic nerve which, = according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a = suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your = children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial = disaster.…

AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a = 1-yr.-old to eat strained beets. APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which = children will trade for cupcakes. BABY: 1. Dad, when he gets a cold. 2. Mom’s = youngest child, even if Jeremy is now 43. BATHROOM: Room used by the entire family,…

[Yes. First weekday of the month, and you must face = the PUNishment.]   I have friends who swear they dream in color but I think = it’s just a pigment of their imagination.   God was tired after making a 24 hour period, so He decided to = call…

I = could not let April close without the story of Samuel = Whittemore (July 27, = 1696 – February 2, 1793), an American = farmer and soldier. He was 78 years of age in April 1775 when he became = the oldest known colonial combatant in the American Revolutionary…

It seems = a group of leading medical people have published data that indicates = that our Jewish friends should NOT partake of both chopped liver = sandwiches and leftover apple-walnut charoses from the Seder at the same = meal this week. It is indicated that this combination may lead…

A Jewish = friend of mine took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He = sat down on a bench and began eating. Shortly thereafter a blind man = came by and sat down next to him. Feeling = neighborly, the Jew offered a sheet of matzo…