Grif.Net

On an = airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front = of me. Learning that it was the couple’s 60th wedding anniversary, the = flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done = it. "Those years all felt just like five or ten…

Just as a = surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the = patient awoke, sat up, and demanded to know what is going = on.   "I’m = about to close," the surgeon said.   The patient = grabbed the surgeon’s hand, saying, "I’m not…

During a Papal = audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change = the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "Give us this day our daily = bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken," and = Kentucky Fried Chicken will donate $10,000,000 to…

Mr. Peterson owns a furniture = store specializing in ornate antiques in the baroque style. He had = walking pneumonia last month but was at the store anyway. He was in one = of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks Vapor-rub on his aching chest = and neck when his…

We’re = holding an Eclipse Party this morning, so I decided to bring a light = snack. ~~ How = do you organize a solar eclipse party? You = planet. ~~ How does the = man in the moon cut his hair?  Eclipse = it. ~~ Heard that = NASA…

Dan noted the = “tag line” on every Grif Net blog, and asked if I’d = ever heard of the song.  Morgan Easter wrote, “Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love” and it is a children’s favorite = today. Before time was measured,Before there was = light. Before any colors were set…

When our boys = were teens their bedrooms were in the basement where they also had their = own bathroom.  They constantly made a mess there and just expected = that our maid [read: their mother] would clean and straighten up after = them.   My wife grew = tired…

Some of the family were touring = in the Chicago Field Museum of Natural History, enjoying every = area.  Their son marveled at the dinosaur bones, so one of them = asked a nearby guard, "Can you tell my boy how old the dinosaur = bones are?"   The guard…

A = Wyoming rancher named Brown decided his injuries from the accident were = serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the = accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy Denver lawyer = was questioning Rancher Brown. "Didn’t you say, at the scene of the =…

As I sat in = the examination chair for a 6-month check-up, my dentist asked, = "Well, Bob, how’s the mouth?”   I simply = replied, "Oh, she’s away for a week seeing her = sister."     [I will deny = saying this if anyone brings this up to…

An executive = was attempting to do some menial office work himself. His assistant = found him standing in front of the office shredder holding a piece of = paper with a puzzled look on his face.   "Is there = any way I may help you?" the assistant =…

As a = minister I am supposed to have patience.  But waited for hours to = have my car serviced just before the long 4th of July holiday = weekend. The staff at the shop worked quickly, but there were many cars = ahead of me. Finally, a fellow came…

[All = the hoopla of the Stock Market meteoric rise lately had me working hard = to adapt this old grif.net humor from 20+ years = ago] Helium was up, feathers = were down. Paper was stationery. = Fluorescent tubing was = dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply.…