Grif.Net

When asked, "What do you = think of Western Civilization?", Mahatma Gandhi replied, "I = think it would be a good idea." "He uses = statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than = illumination." – Andrew Lang "He has Van Gogh’s ear for = music." –…

"I like your opera. I = think I will set it to music." – Beethoven (to another = composer) "He loves nature = in spite of what it did to him." – Forrest = Tucker   "Only two things are = infinite – the universe and human stupidity, and I’m…

[Ouch! Some of these have more = truth than humor!] "I’ve just learned about his illness. = Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial." – Irvin S. = Cobb   "If you won’t be a good = example, then you’ll have to be a horrible warning. – Catherine the = Great "He…

[More classic insults without = vulgarity]   "Thank you for sending me = a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it." – Moses = Hadas "I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter = saying I approved of it." – Mark Twain "He has…

[These insults are from an era = “ before” the English language got boiled down to vulgar = 4-letter words] "I never forget a face, = but in your case, I’ll make an exception." – Groucho = Marx "The thing that impresses = me most about America is the way…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0358_01D36B49.59D82B00 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0359_01D36B49.59D82B00″ ——=_NextPart_001_0359_01D36B49.59D82B00 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [Throughout the past decades, little children have grown up singing “Jesus Loves Me”. DO YOU know the tune? Someone penned words more fitting for those of us passing through ‘middle-essence’ into the…

[First = of the month and that means more puns and word = plays]   Most = babies are delivered by stork. Our kids were so heavy it took a = crane.   If = Apple made cars, would they have Windows?   Do you = think clouds look down…

The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The = plural, esposas, means "wives," but also = "handcuffs."   City with = the most Rolls Royce automobiles per capita =3D Hong = Kong.   In Elizabethan England, the spoon was so novel and = prized that people carried their own folding spoons…

[I have odd friends who love = the grif net blog. In turn, I love reading their “status = updates” and wonder how long they will be allowed out of the = asylum. No names of the people originating these on their social media = site need to be given.]…

A Hindu = priest, a Jewish rabbi and a lawyer were driving down the road, when = their car broke down. Fortunately finding a farmhouse nearby, the farmer = informed them that he had only one spare room, and that it had only two = twin beds. They were welcome…

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their = conversation drifting from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook = once," said one, "but I could never do anything with = it."   "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the = other.   "You said it. Just too hard.  Every…

"My loving heavenly Father: I thank You for the bounty of food spread across our tables = this Thanksgiving time, but help me to remember the hungry whose empty = stomachs will remain empty all day. I thank You for the measure of health and strength You give, = but…

[We HAVE to post this every year or = so. Too good to archive it] 10. To Kill a Walking = Bird 9. My = Best Friend’s Dressing 8. The Texas Coleslaw = Massacre 7. Casserolablanca 6. 12 Hungry = Men 5. = Silence of the Yams 4. For Love…