Grif.Net

[Collection of odd thoughts that crossed the wasteland of what’s = left of my brain . . . ]   I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people = die of natural causes.   When weeding, the best way to make sure you…

The surgeon = sat beside the boy’s bed, the boy’s parents sat across from him. = "Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I’ll open up your = heart…"   "You’ll = find Jesus there," the boy interrupted.   The surgeon = looked up, annoyed. "I’ll cut your heart open," he continued,…

[This is a rerun from 20 years ago, but as the wife and I get older, = it seems to age well.  It was used on RFD TV’s = “Larry’s Country Diner” just a week ago and reminded = me that I had sent this joke to my friends two…

When I = pastored in Wisconsin and Minnesota I had to be really careful about = jokes that might be deemed offensive to certain = nationalities.   Couldn’t risk telling a joke about a = German, Pole, Scandinavian, French etc   At a = men’s breakfast when everyone was visiting, joking…

Man is = incomplete until he is married. Then he is = finished.   ~~~ One golfer to = another: First it was my marriage; now, the magic has gone out of my = nine iron too.   ~~~ Love is blind, = but marriage is an eye-opener.   ~~~…

[Actual instruction labels found on products] ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. =   ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. = Details inside.   ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. =   ON A FROZEN…

[In honor of = Father’s Day, Donna sent me these pithy little phrases from Dad. = Do any of these sound familiar to you?]   "Do it to = make your mother happy."   "Were you = raised in a barn?  Close the door!"   "You = didn’t beat me…

Here are 10 = specific ways you can pray today for members of our persecuted Christian = family: 1.  Pray = they will sense God’s presence      =  (Heb. 13:5) For [God] has said, "I will never leave you nor = forsake you."   2.  Pray = they will…

[As a pastor, I am pleased with hearing such phrases all the = time.  Ah, often.  Or once in a while.  Well, in my = dreams.]   > “Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front = row.”   > “I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon…

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requested = shelter there. Fortunately, she was just in time for dinner and was = treated to the best fish and chips she’d ever had. =   After dinner, she stopped by the kitchen to thank the chefs…

From Cynthia: = “With all this rain, I think we need to build an ark.  But = don’t worry, I Noah guy.”   From Josh: = “Congratulations to the 2019 High School Graduates on getting thru = the easiest part of life.”   From Maria: = “I thought my dryer…

1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it? =   2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the = bubbles are always white?   3. Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on = sale?…

>Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers =   >Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case   >Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents   >Farmer Bill Dies in House   >Iraqi Head Seeks Arms   >President Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead =   >Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim…