Grif.Net

One d= ay God was looking down at earth and saw the questionable activities o= f retirees that was going on. He called His angels and&nb= sp;sent one to earth for a time. When the angel returned, he told God,= ‘Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and o=…

An ol= der gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery an= d he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the opera= tion.  As he was about to get the anesthesia, h= e asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?"  "Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just r= emember if it…

[If w= e gave an ACTOR’S name and the year of a famous movie, many would thi= nk it “too easy” a quiz.  So . . . we will give you the le= ading CHARACTER’S name (role that the actor played) and the year of a= famous movie and all…

I don= ‘t know why I didn’t figure this out sooner. &nbsp= ; I use shampoo in the shower. When I wash and rinse my hair the s= hampoo goes down my body. On the back label of the bottle it clearly states= : “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”  …

Today= (August 2nd) at sundown, marks the solemn Tisha B’av (9th of Av in the Jewish calendar). The date varies from late July t= o August on modern caledars, but it is a 25-hour period of prayer and fasti= ng in remembrance. We join them in contemplation and prayer, trusting…

[Bill S. sent these and wondered if = I could use some new puns and word plays for my monthly foray.  Every = reader of the Grif.Net will say, “Always, Bill, always.”]= I got run over by a rental car. It Hertz a lot.   Wanted: Roofing Contractor.Must be truss…

My visit to the doctor earlier this month led to a n= ew prescription. Been a couple of weeks and I looked at the bottle for info= rmation.   I phoned the clinic. "Is it true," I wanted to know,=  "that the new medication prescribed has to be taken fo= r the…

A fel= low admitted, “On my dating ap, I posted that I have a corner office = with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid = to travel.   My dates never seem too happy= when I tell them I’m a city bus driver.”…

[Fina= l quiz on Capitals and these are REALLY HARD. With nearly 200 nations plus = territories and many changed in the past two decades, it makes this even mo= re difficult. Clue: the 15 capital cities are listed alphabetically in thes= e 15 questions. Good luck and thanks for…

Durin= g a visit to the mental hospital, I asked the director, “How do you d= etermine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"   "’Well,” said the director, “= we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to t= he patient…

An ode to times long gone. For "older folks" only = – (Under 60, you may not understand)   You could hardly see for all the snow= ,  Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. = Pull a chair up to the TV set, Good night, David; Good…

I hav= e kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.   I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the roa= d. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”   I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a ve= ry good…

[Have you met someone at school, the office, the lib= rary, or church and want to get to know them better? Here are some cheesy o= pening questions that could lead to a date =E2=80=A6 or immediate rejection= 😊]Are you tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.  …