Grif.Net

GRA= IN (adj). Mixture of yellow and blue.Usage: "Mercy … I’s jus = grain with envy!"   GRE= E-YUHL (noun). A cooking utensil of parallel bars on which food is = exposed to heat (as from charcoal or electricity).Usage: "Y’all = want me to throw some more ree-yubs on the = gree-yuhl?"…

A = cowboy rode into a strange town and saw carpenters finishing work on a = gallows.   Not= icing a rider tying up his horse in front of the hotel, he called, = "Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?" The guy = nodded. "Yup. We’re fixin’ to hang…

In = a first-grade classroom the teacher asked, "If I gave you 2 cats = and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you = have?"   Jus= tin raised his hand. "Seven."   His= teacher replied, "No, listen carefully. If I gave you two cats, = and…

An unnamed = congresswoman was sitting in her DC office when a staff member arrived = with some bad news.    “Did you = hear that we just found out 3 Brazilians died last week with = COVID?”   The = Representative suddenly put her head on the desk and…

A friend had = been seeing Lorraine for some time.  He was not happy in the = relationship but didn’t want to hurt her by just breaking it = off.  Then he met Ms. Lee, a lovely lady who had just moved from = Korea to the USA, and he…

Don= ’t feel sorry or fear for your kids or grandkids because the world = they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be.  God = created them and called them for the exact moment in time that = they’re in. Their life wasn’t a…

DAI= NTZ (noun or verb). Rhythmic body movements.Usage: "Boy, that = Michael Flatly fellow sure can daintz!"   DEE= -YUSK (noun). A circular object or a storage medium.Usage: = "Save yer files on your dee-yusks." DEP= TEE (Noun). A proxy or representative.Usage: "I shot = the shurf, but I didn’t shoot…

Richard G = shared, “Guy texted me = about how I can make it rich selling Egyptian antiquities. After some = research. I discovered it was just a pyramid = scheme.”   Ken H looked = at his wife: “You make my heart beat faster than a delivery from =…

A = frog went to a fortune teller to find out if he would ever be lucky in = love.  The fortune teller read his palm and told the frog, "I = have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear = first?"   The=…

A = woman was out golfing and hit the ball deep into the woods. When she = went to look for it she found a frog in a trap.   The= frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant = you three wishes."  …

[Start every = month with puns. May the farce be with you.]   No one knew I = had a dental implant until it came out when I was = preaching.   How= was Rome split in two? By a pair of Ceasars.   A = scarecrow said, "This job…

[We= NEED to remember the message of this poem by Charles Meigs written in = 1902]   Lor= d, help me live from day to day In = such a self-forgetful way Tha= t even when I kneel to pray My = prayer shall be for Others.   Hel= p…

AHM= A (contraction).Usage: "Ahma gonna sit rat cheer til = foe the safnoon." AIG= S (noun). Preborn chickens.Usage: "Honey … git me another = play-it of beckon and aigs." ALL (noun). A petroleum-based lubricant.Usage: = "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup = truck."   ANO= MALY (phrase). My usual…