Grif.Net

10.= “Did anyone think about bringing umbrellas?”   9. = “Hey, I think there are more than two flies in = here!”   8. "And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug = out."   7. = “Okay, who’s the wise guy who let the mosquitoes on = board?”…

[Expanding on = an old joke attributed to any number of comedians we have these entries = . . . ] If lawyers are disbarred and ministers unfrocked, then = perhaps . . .   >> = electricians can be delighted   >> = musicians denoted   >> = cowboys…

A nine-year-old kid is sitting = at his desk and suddenly there is a little puddle between his feet and = the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop = because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It’s = never happened before,…

Gary K said, = =E2=80=9CMy girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. = But I laugh more.=E2=80=9D   Mike H shared, = =E2=80=9CShout out to all the people who don=E2=80=99t know the opposite = of in.=E2=80=9D   George S = confesses, =E2=80=9CPeople are often shocked when they…

How come = people pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water? Just spell = =E2=80=9CEvian=E2=80=9D backwards.   How do you = keep Canadian bacon from curling in your = skillet? Take away = their little brooms. How many = optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?…

[In= case you missed Valentine’s Day and need to make up a quick = sincere-sounding billet-doux= , = a Southern friend sent these “love messages” you might = use.]   &gt= ;>I love you more than cornbread on Sunday.   &gt= ;>>>You’re the Mason jar to my preserves.   &gt=…

[Looking for the right words to = express your Valentine sentiment? Might want to look = further.]   George = Burns Love is a lot like a backache: = it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s = there.   Charles = M. Schulz All you need is…

In a small = town, planners of a new tavern started to lay foundation to open their = business. The local Christian church started a campaign with petitions = and prayers to block the bar from opening.   Work = progressed, however, right up until the week before opening, when…

The cashier at = the grocery store asked me if I=E2=80=99d like my milk in a = bag. I replied, = "No, just leave it in the carton" I saw an ad that = said, "Radio for sale $2, volume stuck on = full" I immediately = thought to myself,…

By the time = Jordy arrived, the noon football game had already started. “Why = are you so late?” asked his friend.   “I = couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football = game. So, I tossed a coin,” said Jordy.   “But = that shouldn’t…

I am always = late for work.But I make up for it by always leaving = early.   I hired a = handyman and gave him a list of jobs to do, but of the jobs on the list, = he only completed numbers 1,3,5 and 7. Evidently, he only…

An old = preacher was filling the pulpit in a small church, and after the service = stood at the door shaking hands with parishioners. One woman turned = bright red and looked at her shoes as she shook the preacher’s = hand.   “‘I= hope you didn’t take it…

Two fellows = were out ice fishing yesterday (Sunday), and one was feeling a bit = guilty about not being in church.  After he confessed his concern = over missing worship, his friend shared his = thoughts.   “Well, I = wouldn’t have gone to church today anyway,” his friend…