Grif.Net

A Psalm of = Life (by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) Tell me not, = in mournful numbers, Life is but an = empty dream! For the soul = is dead that slumbers, And things are = not what they seem.   Life is real! = Life is earnest! And the grave…

We’ve = enjoyed updates on mergers thus far in 2022.  Market consultants = are now predicting some potential mergers for the remainder of the = year:   Hale Business = Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. may merge = before the end of Lent and…

JER= USALEM, (Religious News Service) — Continuing the current trend back = towards turn-of-the-century monopolies, it was announced today at a = press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.   An = industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 = years, ever…

WASHINGTON, (UPSI) — In a deal that resonated in homes = across the country, Cats announced today that it had completed an = extremely hostile takeover of Dogs.   The new company, which Cats said will be called OnePet, = will supplant the recently created Fishbirdgroup as the world’s largest…

CON= CORD, N.H., Mar 4 (Rooters) — Continuing the wave of consolidation that = saw Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia join to form Nationsouth, Vermont = and New Hampshire signed a deal today that will combine the two into one = state. They have adopted the motto "Live Free or Whatever."…

NEW= YORK, (API) — In a move that rocked the Street today, Bert and Ernie = announced that they had merged to form Bernie, a giant conglomeration of = felt that will move them into the No. 2 spot, past Big Bird and just = behind Barney.   In =…

If = you’ve ever said, “I can’t do anything for God . . . = I’m not good enough . . . If you only knew what my life was = like,“ then it would be good to remember . . = .   Jacob = cheated Peter had a…

If you wear = cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?   If you were = truly telekinetic, could raise my hand?   If I could say = a few words, would I be a better public speaker.   If you had a = beautiful pumpkin, would it be gourdgeous?  …

[Answers to another set of questions from = my overflowing inbox] JoAnn asks, “I just purchased a car = from a guy “as is”, and now I can’t get the reverse = gear to work. What would you recommend?” Dr Bob says, “Well, sounds like an = expensive fix. You…

[After my word = play on knight’s names a few weeks ago, Gene D, Jeff M, Jill L and = Jim M weighed in with their own ideas] Sir = Rendipidy =3D always blissful.    Sir Cull =3D = one who wanders around in the woods.    Sir Plus =3D…

[First of the = month Tom Swifty puns, again.  Just about = c-level]   "I know = where to play golf," said Tom coarsely.   “The = prisoner is here and we’re ready to switch on the electric = chair,” said Tom conceitedly. *   "Rowing = so much hurts…

[Ma= ny are upset with returning to face-to-face employment and need excuses = to continue to stay home.  I can personally attest that many of = these excuses may work.]   I = am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food = Giant.   The= dog ate…

Once upon a = time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It = was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side-by-side, sharing = machinery and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. =   Then the long = collaboration fell apart.…