Grif.Net

There are some = phrases in the English language that just sound right, you know? = "Tick tock" has a much better flow than "tock tick," = and "chat chit" — as opposed to "chit chat" = — feels downright wrong.   Like, we’d = never say we played "pong…

[Catchy = headlines or opening sentences of on-line articles that are designed to = make you stop and read . . . ] World #1 ranked tennis player = knocked out of Australian Open after missing just two = shots   Sisters = reunited after 15 years in check-out line…

The = pastor’s wife called and asked him to pick up some organic kale = for that night’s dinner on his way home. He arrived at the store = and began to search all over for organic kale before finally asking the = produce clerk where he might find some.…

[Our = first-of-the-month pun offering of Tom Swifty jokes reach = “B” level (each adverb or verb will begin with that = letter)]   “My boat = leaks," said Tom balefully.   "I need a = pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.   “This = wind is awful!" Tom said blusterfully.…

Steve asks, = =E2=80=9CMy wife has gained a little extra weight.=C2=A0 Would be okay = for me to have a private discussion with her about = this?=E2=80=9D Dr Bob says, = =E2=80=9CI wouldn=E2=80=99t.=C2=A0 Women who are a little overweight = live longer than any man who mentions = it.=E2=80=9D  …

A lovely = little girl was holding two apples in her hands.   Her mom came = in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile, “My sweetie, = could you give your mom one of your two = apples?”   The girl = looked up at her mom for…

God was = talking to one of His angels after beginning creation and said, = “Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour = period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn’t that = good?”   The angel = replied, “Yes, but what…

DID YOU KNOW . = . . If you drive south from = Detroit, you’ll cross into Canada.   DID= YOU KNOW . . . four times more people speak English as a second = language than as a native one?  English has MORE THAN two billion = people learning…

Your children = are beginning to look middle-aged.   You know all = the answers, but nobody asks the questions.   You are a = "17" around the neck, a "44" around the waist and a = "96" around the golf course.   You find = yourself giving good advice…

You feel your = corns more than you do your oats.   You wake up in = the middle of the night tired and listless.   You know = "where it’s at" but forgot why it’s = there.   You know how = to spell gastroenterologist.   You don’t have…

You get up to = change the TV channel and decide that as long as you’re up, you might as = well go to bed.   You start = complaining that "They’re building car seats too = low!"   Your ears perk = up when a laxative commercial comes on…

‘Getting = late for a meeting, need to run’, he said, as he slung his coat = over the shoulder, and bounded out of the house. As he drove away, she = came running down the stairs two at a time. ‘Wait, wait’, = she said, but he had already…

At a recent = church service, an older lady was fumbling in her purse for her offering = when a large television remote fell out and clattered into the = aisle.   A curious = usher bent over to retrieve it for her and whispered, “Do you = always carry…