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Melville Dewey (of Dewey Decimal library classification system fame) spelled a common word GHEAUGHTEIGHPTOUGH following legitimate rules of English. “GH” pronounced as in hiccough “EAU” pronounced as in beau “GHT” pronounced as in naught “EIGH” pronounced as in neighbor “PT” pronounced as in pterodactyl and “OUGH” pronounced as in though.…

[My tax advisor is not making a lot of cents, but I’ll share the wealth of ideas he shared with me.] There incomes a time in every person’s life when they become mired in a hole world of debt, and at the expense of being cliche, ‘The only sure thing…

[After her recent cruise, Sharon Jackson wrote this prayer; throw stones at her] Heavenly Father, look down on us your humble, obedient cruising servants, who are doomed to cruise this earth, taking photographs, mailing postcards, buying souvenirs, eating ourselves silly and walking around muggy Caribbean islands in drip-dry underwear. We…

Don Sherman was a resident comedian on board the “Summit”, our ship of choice for a cruise to Hawaii and back. Not only did he keep all in stitches with a hilarious evening show in the Celebrity Theater, he met with a small group in the Rendezvous Lounge on another…

TOP 10 THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given

“It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers! In fact, I discovered by reading newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late. Accordingly,…

[Way too much fun with Verbal Profundities. Here are fifteen more!] Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. In a democracy, your vote counts; in feudalism, your Count votes. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. Show me…

[English is a fun language. Here are 15 kind of “profound” statements for your enjoyment] Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit…

Dress Code: 1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3. If you dress poorly, you need…

[Many have “welcomed me back” and glad to see the grif.net (off since March 1st) back on line and wondered where we’ve been. We’ve enjoyed a few days in LA with grandchildren, then a cruise to Hawaii and back with the bride of 37 years. While I’ve loved doing the…

[Back from hiatus and glad to have the Grif.Net up and running] On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The…

[Humor aside about needing a break, the grif.net will be on a brief hiatus for a few weeks. Hope to see you all toward the end of March.] TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR PASTOR MAY NEED A BREAK 10. Announces next Sunday’s baptismal services will be in Grand Cayman. 9. He…

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide; In every change, He faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.…