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Sue forwarded these are actual writings from various hospital charts. My wife (the doctor) laughed and quickly copied them to take to her clinic and post!!] 1.The patient refused an autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.…

[While the bride – hey, somebody in the family needs to work – still has 3 years until retirement, I was asked recently if I were retired. No. Tired, yes, but not retired. Just not working much. Allergic to sweat. Anyway, here is the test.] Q. When is a retiree’s…

[Written by Susan Lantz] Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he…

Oh, the joy of having 10 grandkids. I am going to pass these questions on to the readers and see if YOU can come up with better (read: sicker) answers than I. The worst will be shared Monday, along with my feeble attempt. They are all about FOOD. Example 1:…

A very strong young man at a local construction site was bragging about how he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special point of making fun of a 66 year old man. After several minutes of listening to the young braggart, the old worker had…

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN’T 10. Do I look like a people person? 9. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 8. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. 7. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t…

Today is election day and someone asked WHY we have elections in November. The answer, of course, is because that’s the season we pick out turkeys. Here are a few more questions this election day: 1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 2. Why…

Monday morning after a long weekend and you nod-off at your desk. Along comes the boss and catches you napping. Here are the BEST things to say: 10. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper” 8.…

[This week we celebrated again our wonderful Reformation heritage (Oct 31/Nov 1). The following is a one-page summary of doctrine largely impacted by the giants who walked before us. The weekend Grif.Net is always “serious” and this is worthy reading for our friends from ALL religions – Catholic, Jewish or…

CSR sent me this story and not sure if it was about her or not. “I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows a bit to make sure my Labrador retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out…

Many long years ago the king’s baker’s assistant’s sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their professions in those days, he was just called Richard the Pourer. One day Richard ran out of some…

[Received a BUNCH more children’s jokes for this light-hearted time of festivities. BTW, I’m teaching my grandkids to give up the stale “Trick or Treat” line. Replace it with “Deal, or No Deal”. ] What’s a ghost’s favorite breakfast? Ghost toasties with booberries. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game? Hide-And-Go-Shriek! What’s…

[I have ten grandkids under 8. These are for them!] What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost? “Don’t spook until you’re spooken to.” What do little ghosts drink? Evaporated milk. What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley? I’m bone to be wild. What do baby…