I love autumn. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the world series. A bit like the Yankees again this year . . . Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the NY Yankees? A: Because she ran away from the ball. The Yankees are at…
09/22/08 Grif.Net – Supplemental Rules for Bowling
[I may not join a league this year with these new rules] If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”. When your team is about…
09/20/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Irena Sendler
There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/ Sewer specialist. She had an ‘ulterior motive’. She KNEW what the Nazi’s plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in…
09/19/08 Grif.Net – Lunch Line Signs
The students were lined up for lunch at the cafeteria in our Christian School. At the head of the food line was a large bowl of beautiful apples. A teacher had carefully lettered a sign next to the bowl that read, “Take only ONE; God is watching.” Further along the…
09/18/08 Grif.Net – Amunition
This news just in: All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday. A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure weren’t doin’ it to Alabama. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this…
09/17/08 Grif.Net – Wise Sayings of the Wise
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ~ A. Whitney Brown The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. ~ Albert Einstein “Automatic” simply means that you can’t repair it yourself. ~ Mary H. Waldrip…
09/16/08 Grif.Net – September Pun o’the Month
djt suggested, “The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.” Another one? Glad you asked. “I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin,…
09/15/08 Grif.Net – Unanswered Questions
The internet is full of “imponderables” or things that give more questions than answers. Here are some questions STILL unanswered. Q. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Q. Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’ if…
09/13/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Who Am I?
Who am I? I am a Republican. I am under 45 years old. I love the outdoors. I am an avid hunter. I am a member of the National Rifle Association. I have a reputation as a reformer. I am known for taking on the Republican establishment. I have a…
09/12/08 Grif.Net – Alternate Meaning
The Washington Post published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the top entries. 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has…
09/11/08 Grif.Net – New Words
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Among the best were: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to…
09/10/08 Grif.Net – Phone Directory
IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS! China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos. There are so many Wing’s and Wong’s in the Beijing Directory, people were always wingin wong numbers. I felt you needed to know this. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I love”
09/09/09 Grif.Net – Alphabet for Aging
An Alphabet for Aging A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won’t float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let’s be a bit more realistic instead. . . Now, A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back, C’s…