To keep up my spirits, each day I look in the mirror and say . . . I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. Today I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I no…
10/06/08 Grif.Net – My Wayward Computer
[Please forgive my totally depraved computer that sent an errant message (dated Friday the 13th and totally blank) yesterday. I’m writing Bill Gates to correct it, but some said it was the best grif.net ever!! Grrrrrrrr ] Prayer for My Wayward Laptop “It seems that every evening as I’m laying…
10/13/08 Grif.Net –
~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I love”
10/04/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Stress Management
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ Answers called out ranged from 8 oz to 20 oz. The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold…
10/03/08 Grif.Net – What have I Started?
[Man, the really bad plays on words are pouring in. What have I started? Mark writes:] My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she turned red in the face and began to scream, “SHOULDN’T . .. COULDN’T . . WOULDN’T .…
10/02/08 Grif.Net – First Wrist Watch?
In the spirit of word play, Jason shared this historical “fact” about wrist watches . . . In the autumn of the year 333 BC, Alexander the Great came head-to-head with Persian King Darius during the battle of Issus on the north-eastern Mediterranean Coast. He decided to try out his…
10/01/08 Grif.Net – October Pun o’the Month
From “punster” here are a couple entries for pun o’the month in October: “A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.” and “Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I…
09/30/08 Grif.Net – I’m the Boss
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he…
09/29/08 Grif.Net – Ah, What’s UP, Doc?
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word,…
09/27/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Insightful Advice from Mother
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;…
09/26/08 Grif.Net – 2008 Office Vocabulary
1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. 2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops on everything, and then leaves. 3. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. 4. PRAIRIE…
09/25/08 Grif.Net – Out of Office Messages
[A lot of grif.net emails get returned with messages that recipients are “out of the office”.] I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared. You are receiving this automatic…
09/24/08 Grif.Net – Things I’ve Learned from Living in Texas
[I lived in a ‘burb of Dallas/Ft Worth for more than four years, and some of these are sooooooo true!] Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas plus a couple no one’s…