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Attention: The bowl in the back of the church marked “For the sick,” is for monetary donations only. Next Saturday we will hold our Adult Personal Growth Workshops. Complimentary day care will be provided at a cost of $5 per child. After the final hymn we ask all to take…

[Tired of the same-old, same-old bulletin bloopers? These are a cut above.] After the morning worship, the choir will meet in the rehearsal room next to the new restrooms. They will be practicing a hymn for Christmas: “Who is He in Yonder Stall”. We continue to apologize for our broken…

[After listening to the Presidential address last night I thought some humorous and pithy quotations might be in order. And more valuable that what we heard for sure.] Politics, n: from “poly ticks”, short for “many small bloodsucking insects”. “Congress spends a billion dollars here and a billion dollars there.…

Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The first squaw placed a large bear hide by a river, the second squaw placed an elk hide by a tree by a river, and the third squaw placed a hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river…

If a lawyer and your mother-in-law were drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go watch television or just have a Coke? If a tree falls in a forest, and it hits a mime, will he make a sound? If a pig loses its voice, is…

Sometime this year many evolutionists will celebrate the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s “Origin of the Species.” His theories proclaim as fact that higher forms of life gradually developed over millions of years. These forms supposedly got their start

The American Hyphen Society is a community-based, not-for-profit, grass-roots consciousness-raising/education-research alliance that seeks to help effectuate the across-the-board self-empowerment of wide-ranging culture-, nationality-, ethnicity-, creed-, gender-, and sexual-orientation defined identity groups by excising all multiculturally-less-than-sensitive terminology from the English language, and replacing it with counter-hegemonic, cruelty-, gender-, bias-, and, if…

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. By the time we’ve made it, we’ve had it. Lady with one chopstick at Chinese restaurant go hungry. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. I always wanted to be somebody.…

Ingredients: 1 large Roast of beef, 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done. (Gracie Allen) ~~ “When I read about the evils of too much cholesterol, eating eggs, red meat, or even…

Thought a little quiz would be in order for the short work-week. Every answer will have “8” in it 1. Bill Lear (inventor of the jet that bears his name) came up with this way to listen to music. 2. Wild Bill Hickok was shot in the back while holding…

[Back in the 50’s when I was in school, banks and schools were closed on both Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, February 12, and George Washington’s birthday, February 22. When Congress decided to make holidays into long weekends, and not to slight the other president, the third Monday of February was the…

My loving mother-in-law [wife made me type this] shared a “couples quiz” that might be fun for this Valentine’s Day. Simple premise: We give one half of a famous “couple” and you give the rest! (A couple of couples are “tricky” so watch out) Ex: Adam and ?? (Eve) 1.…

Those who purport to know about these things (from a magazine called ‘Mental Floss’), inform us that Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden on a Friday, Noah’s flood started on a Friday, and Christ was crucified on a Friday. In early America, it was noted that…