Daily Humor

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0790_01DAD827.F5BCB480 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit We tend to be myopic, thinking only of self and personal interest. Consider these facts from another perspective: *From a clock’s point of view, the hands move counterclockwise. *From a chicken’s point of view, every egg…

[List of character and characteristics of the perfect husban= d]   What I Want in a Man, Original List (age 22)1. Handsome 2. Charmin= g 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape = 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_00D9_01DAD509.467D2700 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit The surgeon sat beside the boy’s bed; the boy’s parents sat across from him. “Tomorrow morning,” the surgeon began, “I’ll open up your heart…” “You’ll find Jesus there,” the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed.…

[Status updates from my social media friends who have a funnier= sense of humor than I do.]   Glenda G. proclaimed, “No bones about it. It&#8= 217;s going tibia great day.” &nb= sp; Wayne I. reminded, “I have concluded th= at the best part of old age is that it…

A husband was advised by his psychiatrist to assert himself.= "You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you! Go home and show her yo= u are the boss!"   Of course, the husband took the doctor’s advice. He = rushed home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his…

A homograph is one of two (or more) words th= at have the SAME SPELLING but have DIFFERENT MEANINGS. The word may be pron= ounced the same or pronounced differently. Still homographs (same writing).= Today=E2=80=99s quiz will be the same spelling with DIFFERENT pronunciatio= n. Most are not dfficult ane…

Did yoy hear about the Italian chef that die= d?   >He pasta way   >We cannoli do so much   >His = legacy will become a pizza history   >Here= today, gone tomato   >Sad that he ran o= ut of thyme   >Sending olive my prayers to= the…

DID YOU KNOW . . .   = >When someone says “Hold your horses”, they are aski= ng you to be stable.  That is you hold your horses.   >When someone asks, “What? Where? When?” just = change the first letter to “T” and you have the answers.   >When…

[The first weekend of each month is a time to encourage and ins= pire our blog readers to greater achievement and aspiration.] &#822= 0;A champion is someone who gets up when he can’t.”~ Jack De= mpsey   “But when your sword breaks, you draw your dagger.”~&nbsp= ;C.S. Lewis   “The only…

This is a story about four church members that we will call Eve= rybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.   There was an important job to be done at = Church and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. =   Anybody could have don= e it, but Nobody did…

[Groaners, terrible puns, lame humor, and other nonsense design= ed to make a 4th grader roll her eyes on the 4th]= What happens if all the pigs on the far= m throw a Fourth of July celebration? They c= all it ‘The in the Pen Dance Party"   What did…

NOW THAT I’M RETIRED: Not saying I’ve gotten= lazy these days, but my favorite exercise now is doing “diddly-squat= ”.   I do tuck my feet into my chest and lean forward, since t= hat’s just how I roll.   Monday is cleaning day. So far, I’ve polished = off…

[Everyone knows homophones are words that SOUND alike but are s= pelled differently and with different meanings. Homonyms have the same SOUN= D and SPELLING but with different meanings. Today’s quiz will ask sim= ple questions but will require two homophones for the correct answers, maki= ng it a little…