Daily Humor

[I always = enjoy flight attendants and pilots who have ‘fun’ with = announcements.]  “Thank you for flying Southwest. We = know you have other choices but you’re too cheap so you’re = flying with us.”   “Please = keep your seat belts fastened and enjoy our complimentary = turbulence.”…

[Around this = time in May, everyone has lists of famous people talking about = motherhood.  How ‘bout this week we share sentiment that is = anonymous, unknown, or nameless, but still worthy of thought on this = Mothers’ Day celebration?]   To the world = you are a mother,…

fact@bees: = Most bees seem to be allergic to pollen. When exposed to pollen, they = develop hives.   fact@binoculars= : When out hiking, always carry binoculars. When you make frequent = stops, it looks like you are appreciating nature and not just gasping = for air.   fact@metric: =…

A husband and = wife had just finished eating pancakes. To the wife’s surprise, her = husband walked back to the stove and started making more = pancakes.   Confused, his = wife asked, "Honey, we just ate, why are you making = pancakes?"   "They’re = for the dogs,"…

[A friend = shared this story] Sadly, female airline pilots are still = relatively rare. As a result, while in uniform, I’m often mistaken = for a flight attendant, a ticket agent, or even a snack bar employee. =   One day, I was = brushing my teeth in the…

If = you’re tempted to make fun of a Baptist preacher at the potluck, = don’t.  He already has more than enough on his = plate.   If you like = songs based on the Star Wars trilogy, then you might want to listen to = Harrison Ford’s new compilation.…

[First weekday = of the 5th month and on to “E”, the = 5th letter for adverbs in our Tom Swifty pun = parade]   "Now I = can do some painting," said Tom easily.   "I used = to work for the railway company," said Tom = extraneously.  …

By faith in = Christ I walk with God,With heav’n, my journeys’-end, = in view;Supported by his staff and rod,My road is safe and = pleasant too, I travel through a desert wideWhere = many round me blindly stray;But He vouchsafes to be my = guide,And will not let me miss my way. Though…

LADIES:  = If that young man . . .   *Smiles and is = pleased to see you every day   *Is kind, = complimentary   *Asks you how = your day is going   *Supplies you = with everything you ask for   *Wants God to = be a…

Today, my = bride celebrates her birthday, and no, I’m not revealing her = age.  Me? I’m 74 and glad she’s finally caught up with = me. I wanted to collect some upbeat wishes to share with her.  = Thankfully, she doesn’t waste time reading this blog, so I am…

A father = wanted to prove that he’s not just some boring house Dad, so he got his = first tattoo.   When he got = home, he excitedly showed it off to his wife and = kids.   "Oh, = cool! It’s . . . what exactly IS it?"…

[I got a lot = of groans from yesterday’s pun, so had to try to outdo the word = play today.  Remember, you didn’t ask for it.] To = measure puns properly, you must use a sighsmograph. =   I saw a guy in = a store without a mask.…

A fly felt a = bug on its back.   "Hey, bug = on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asked.   "I mite = be," giggled the mite.   "That’s = the worst pun I’ve ever heard," groaned the = fly.   "What do = you expect?"…