Daily Humor

[Since = retirement, I’m not reading or preaching very much and found my = growth of vocabulary unchallenged.  Here are some words I am trying = to work into sentences that will not sound “perissologous” = (superfluous verbiage) or “orotund” (pompous). After all, = the last way I want to…

I let a woman with one item go ahead of me at the checkout = in our local dollar store. She was in a hurry, with just a single item = (a roll of toilet tissue), and gave a dollar and nickel (tax) to the = clerk, said she needed…

Jason W = wished, “I hope Elon Musk never gets into a scandal because = ElonGate would be really drawn out.”   Ronda B said, = “A TV chef said, ‘Where there’s fat, there’s = flavor’. I know he was talking about food, but I still took it as =…

“I like = to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.  I like to see a = man live so that his place will be proud of him.”  – = Abraham Lincoln   “Where = liberty dwells, there is my country.” – Benjamin = Franklin  …

[Testimony = written by a missionary doctor who worked in Africa decades ago. Reprint = from Grif Net 25 years ago]   One night I = had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but despite all we = could do, she died, leaving us with a…

[We are up to = the “G” adverbs in our hopeless search for any redeeming = value in Tom Swifty puns]   "For the = meal we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful," = said Tom gracefully.   "That = young crawling insect is female,"…

A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and = driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. =   “I can see why it would be dangerous to drink and = drive,” she said. “If you hit a bump, the straw could go up =…

1. If anything = is worth doing, it would have been done already.   2. Never put = off until tomorrow what you can forget about = altogether.   3. All = deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time = given.   4. The = probability of a…

Here are a few = commonly used oxymorons in everyday English.  Judge yourself if = guilty of using some of these and “going nowhere” or being = “pretty bad” in your writing or speech.  Many familiar = oxymorons (jumbo shrimp, military intelligence, old news, et al) have = been the…

[Ov= erheard at church after the service]   An = older single lady in the church seemed confused when a young mother told = her that her daughter was 18 months old.   &#8= 220;Oh,” she said. “I thought she was a year and a = half.”   &#8= 220;But…

[Kevin Kelly = (founder of Wired Magazine and aged 70) shares even more advice based on = what he had learned from living]   Lif= e lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. = Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once…

I invited a = friend to church, and he promised to come.  He didn’t show = up, so I texted him, saying I had missed him, and asking why he = didn’t make it.   He said, = “I was on my way to your church and was almost there…

A gal we went to school with 50 years ago said, = “Teaching is not for sensitive souls. While reviewing future, = past, and present tenses with teenaged students in my English class, I = posed a question”“‘I AM BEAUTIFUL’ – What = tense is that?” One student raised his…