Daily Humor

A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation = package we had booked for him. Evidently, he was expecting an ocean-view = hotel room. In Orlando. I explained that was not possible since = Orlando is in the middle of the state, 100+ miles to the Gulf and 50+…

A soccer = referee picked up his phone during a match.  It said **14 Missed = Calls**.  Nothing unusual about that.   Why is = women’s soccer so rare? It’s = quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same = outfit.   What’s worse = than the…

Not saying = that the team is doing poorly, but the soccer coach was heard yelling at = his team at halftime:"I TOLD YOU TO PLAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE, NOT = PLAY LIKE YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE"   Why was even = the team=E2=80=99s dog bad at soccer? Because he…

Q: What do you = call a weather joke with a bad punchline? A: An = anti-climactic climatic joke.   Q: “This = is Bay A requesting weather report from secondary = base" A: “Bay = B. It’s cold outside"   Q: If you = spend five dollars for a…

Science = teacher: “When is the boiling point = reached?”  Student: = “When my parents see my report = card!”   ~~ Daughter: = “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the = world?”  Mother: = “I don’t know dear, ask your = grandmother.” ~~UW = student:…

Oh, the bitter shame and sorrow,   That a time could = ever be,When I let the Saviour’s pityPlead in vain, and proudly = answered –     "All of self, and none of = Thee." Yet He found me; I beheld Him    = Bleeding on the cursed tree;Heard Him pray,…

[British = comedian Tommy Cooper has made an art-form of “non-sequitur = humor” that still causes me to chuckle = today]   I backed a = horse last week at ten to one. It came in at = quarter past four.       I was having = dinner with chess…

At our house = we are going full iPro into technology . . .   Son =3D = iPod   Daughter =3D = iPad   Mom =3D = iPhone   Dad =3D = iPaid   Dog = iPeed   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net = "Jesus =…

Son: = “Mom, can I get $20?” Mom: = “Does it look like I’m made of = money?” Son: = “Well, isn’t that what M.O.M stands = for?”   ~~ Daughter: = “I can’t find my blouse this morning. I don’t think = Mom will mind me asking even if…

Q: What is = black, covered with feathers and flies? A: A dead = crow.   Q: What is the = meaning of a =E2=80=98true friend=E2=80=99? A: One who = remembers your birthday but not your age.   Q: Where can = you find your grandmother in a hurry? A:…

My = six-year-old son was overly excited to fly on a “big” plane = for the first time. He asked what type of jet we were on, and I showed = him the card in the seat-pocket in front of us.  A Boeing 747. =   As he sat in…

On April 26, 1992, a bi-racial baby was born to a young = woman who did not want to keep him. Fortunately for that child she chose = to give him up for adoption instead of having him killed in the womb. =   His mother carried the baby to…

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for = an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, = “Your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all = right?”   The boy became very quiet.  …