Daily Humor

Keep = Going by Edgar Guest = (March 3, 1921)   When things go = wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you’re trudging = seems all up hill,When the funds are low and the debts are = high,And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,When care is…

President = Lincoln’s mother: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t = you just wear a baseball cap like the other = kids?"       = ~~Columbus&= #8217; mother: "I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. = You still could have written!" ~~Babe = Ruth’s mother: "Bambino, how many times have I…

A friend = was in a couple’s = home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to = his wife in the other room for the computer password.   “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she = shouted back.   We tried S123 several times, but…

[Source of = these admissions will remain anonymous, as I want to remain = married.] “Spit up is my new favorite accessory; no = outfit is complete without it.”   “I hate = when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner and then I remember I am = the mom, and…

[Fun with = words, Tom Swifty style humor – letter “L” this = month]   "I want = to be carried in a covered couch," said Tom literally.   "Choir = up!" commanded the church conductor loftily.   "No, you = have to do it again," reiterated Tom loopily.  …

I wanted to be = a good sport for the festivities, so told the grandkids I was going to = dress up in a costume and they could guess what I was supposed to = be.   I got an old = white sheet and had my wife cut two…

IT’S = WORLD SERIES TIME! [In the middle of football season. = Duh.] Baseball is different from any other sport. For instance, = in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In = most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the…

With cold = weather settling in I must begin training for my favorite winter = sport.   Extreme = Hibernation.   Still waiting = for its acceptance as an Olympic sport, but I consider myself an early = gold medal hopeful.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net…

The University = of Nigeria football team apologized for their poor performance in = yesterday’s exhibition game against Michigan = State. They will be = issuing refunds for anyone who purchased tickets. Just send in your bank = details and pin number . . .   ~~A Miami = Dolphin…

Read an article about Delta Airlines that is infusing its = cabins with a lavender-and-chamomile scent called Calm. “The = Week” publication asked its readers to suggest a better name to = match “the ambience of the packed economy cabin.” = “Eau the Humanity”   “Giorgio’s Arm-on-me”   “Chanel No.…

Humpty = Dumpty’s mother: “Humpty, If I’ve told you once, = I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would = you listen to me? No!”   ~~ Paul = Revere’s mother: "I don’t care where you think you have to = go, young man.…

I retired to = Wisconsin but am still cheering on my Minnesota Vikings.  Neighbors = asked why I don’t support the cheese = heads. I tell them, = “No offense, the Green Bay Packers are really bad at = football. Literally.&#822= 1;   ~~ How many = Clemson University football…

The greater = the mass, the greater the hold that mass exerts. The more things we own = – the greater their total mass – the more they grip us, setting us in = orbit around them.   Finally, like = a black hole, they suck us in. ‘Givi= ng’…