Daily Humor

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He bought a chicken farm. As it turned out, his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for…

Another poor soul, Len, forgot Valentine’s Day and he was seen talking yesterday with his friend Earl. Earl asked, “How bad is it? Do you think you’ll be able to salvage your marriage?” Len replied, “This may be the straw that broke the camel’s back. She hasn’t spoken to me…

Husband: “I am SO sorry that I forgot Valentine’s Day. I know you must be hurt and angry with such a fool like me. What can I do for you to forgive me?” Wife: “I have already dealt with it” Husband: “What did you do?” Wife: “I cleaned the toilet…

The beauty of my wife . . .            is not in the clothes she wears,            the figure that she carries,            or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of my wife . . .            is seen in her eyes,            because that is the doorway to her heart,            the…

[I have ten – count ’em – grandchildren, with the oldest at 7. Lexie turned 2 a few hours ago. So here is some Valentine Day humor for the KIDS!] Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and we’ll go places! Q. Do…

DEFINITIONS IN MARRIAGE BY GENDER THINGY (thing-ee) n.   female: Any part under a car’s hood.   male: The fastener at the top of the back of a woman’s dress above the zipper. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.   female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.   male: Playing football…

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.…

My thread on “Shortest Books” to read on a winter night brought a couple responses from an old college chum (love that word). Tom suggested POLITICAL shortest books. So my mind went reeling and here are some from myself and many others . . 1 ) Humility and How to…

Did you hear about the helicopter pilot who was lost over Seattle? The fog was so thick that all he could see was the top of a building sticking up through the clouds. He maneuvered himself close to the building, hovered beside a window and wrote on his notepad “Where…

Many are complaining about the weather, and must stay indoors. Books are your friends! Here are some VERY SHORT BOOKS for easy reading 1) A Guide to Arab Democracies 2) Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean 3) Career Opportunities for History Majors 4) Cleveland – A Travel Guide 5)…

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy…

[A teacher in Korea sent this. He may be originally from Michigan. Just a hunch. This may be easily adapted to reflect the Cowboys, Giants, Chargers or other teams on which you lost money this post-season.] Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting in front of a TV watching…

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong sermon on the devil. One said to the other, “What do you think about all this Satan stuff?” The other boy replied, “Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.” ~~ Dr Bob…