Daily Humor

[First weekday of the month pun from Tom Swifty adverbs “= q” and “r” as we continue the alphabet of this odd sort o= f humor]   "I’m rereading the second Gospel," Tom remarked.   "These Paris s= treets sure have funny names," said Tom ruefully.   "Be careful with…

[I love an inspiring quotations even if I don’t know exac= tly where it originated. Here are ten more as we flip the page to a new mon= th. No “April Fools” today.]   “Be a fruit loop in a world of Che= erios.”   “When thinking about life, remember…

[It is said that “a child’s first teacher is its mo= ther” for good reason.  Here are ten phrases mothers have used (= repeatedly, in the case of my mother) over the past century . . . or longer= =2E]   1= =2E “As long as you are under my…

[These insults are from an era before the English language got = boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults, then, had some class]   >>"I did= n’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.&q= uot; – Mark Twain   >>"He has no enemies =…

A friend quit his career as a professional poker player and dec= ided to invest in a grocery store for a better income.   For the first couple month= , he didn’t earn much money. Then, he decided to rearrange the meat c= ounter to put prime cuts of beef…

[Sometimes we THINK we know an answer, deduced from the questio= n or other accompanying information. It could be incorrect (and by being on= this list, you KNOW the obvious answer will definitely be wrong!) How will= YOU do on this selection of oddball questions? Remember, this is te= sting…

**I was confused as to how much lettuce to buy from the grocery= store, so I texted the wife. Turns out two = heads are better than one.  = **Went to the grocery store. I asked if they had stric= t covid precautions. They told me gloves and a mask…

One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a pub= lic building with a cup by his feet and a sign that read: "I am blind,= please help."   An ad writer was walking by and stopped to observe. He = saw that the blind man…

My wife and I keep on collecting 5k race t-shirts, without ever= actually participating in the races. It&#82= 17;s our running joke. &nbsp= ; I’m not very good at pressing my shirts. And I say that with no sense of irony.   Why do I wear a co= wboy shirt?…

Once long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was= alone at sea. He followed the enchanting voice until he came upon a singin= g yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible, so he caught t= he fish, kept it alive and returned home.   He showed…

Why does the military only allow uniform dress shirts at its ce= remonies? Because civilian casual tees are u= nacceptable.   What kind of shirts do Wisconsin farmers wear? = Crop tops.   My friend loses his cool every time he tries to arrange his= shirts in the wardrobe. I…

A guy asks his friend from Rome what size a shirt was. He looked at the XL on the tag and says, "Must = be a size 40."   When my grandfather first came to this country, he had noth= ing but a shirt on his back. When the immigr=…

[Who would think that shirts can be funny? Welcome to a week of= grif net humor on the subject.] Her: I’m leaving. I am sick o= f you wearing a different tee shirt every half an hour. Me: Wait. I can change. &nb= sp; Why does Waldo wear a striped…