Daily Humor

[Still looking for T-shirt = ideas] “Don’t grow up; it’s a = trap”   “Love is how excited your dog gets when you come = home”   “Jesus is coming soon. Eat dessert = first”   “You’re never too old for nap = time”   “Bacon is the answer. What…

“THANKS TO = GOD”August L. Storm, 1891   Thanks to God for my = Redeemer,Thanks for all Thou dost provide!Thanks for times now = but a memory,Thanks for Jesus by my side!Thanks for pleasant, = balmy springtime,Thanks for dark and stormy fall!Thanks for = tears by now forgotten,Thanks for peace…

Out on the reservation, an Indian consulted = his Medicine Man about a pain in his stomach that had persisted for many = months. "For something as long as that," = said the Medicine Man, "I have a more drastic remedy than the herbs = I normally prescribe. Chew on…

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country = debtor down in the delta.   "Is = Fred home"? he asked the woman who answered the = door.   "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred’s = gone for cotton."   The next = week, the collector tried again.  …

A farmer lived in ancient Rome. He was working = in the fields one day when he came across a giant strawberry, about one = foot wide and 18 inches high. He thought this would be a novelty that = many would want to see, so he took it home,…

The lady with the pet rabbit (yesterday’s story) = wanted to get some more rabbits and see it she could train them all to = do tricks.  She bought ten and taught them to stand in a line = across a stage and hold one arm up high like they…

A housewife acquired a pet rabbit and taught = it to do all kinds of tricks. She noticed, however, that the animal was = very self-conscious and wouldn’t perform any time it was being observed, = which defeated the purpose of teaching it to do tricks in the first =…

The biblical book of Judges gives detailed stories = about men/women who were raised up to deliver their nation in times of = great trouble.  Some, like Gideon, Samson, Deborah have chapters = devoted to their lives and work.  Others have just a few paragraphs = or verses recording their…

On my next T-shirt I’m thinking of more possible = slogans . . .   “If I = say I will do it, I will do it. You don’t have to remind me about = it every 6 months”   “I = can’t fix stupid, but I can use duct…

A man with a cucumber in his ear, a carrot in = his nose, and a tomato in his eye walked into the doctor’s office. He = said, "Doc, I’m not feeling well. What’s wrong with = me?" The doctor replied, "First of all, I = don’t think you’re eating…

A lady went into her butcher shop complaining = about some hot dogs she had just bought. "The middle of each hot = dog was meat," she exclaimed, "but the ends were just filler = and cereal!" "Well," said the butcher. = "These days it’s hard to make ends =…

Grif.Net Ice-skating Instructor =3D Landon = McKeester   Grif.Net Pension Fund Manager =3D Dot = Comstock   Grif.Net Pseudonym Consultant =3D Norm De = Plume   Grif.Net Photographer =3D F. Stop = Fitzgerald   Grif.Net Plastic Surgeon =3D Fay = Slift   Grif.Net Personal Trainer =3D Jim = Shortz  …

Gene Kelly made An American In = Paris in the studios in Hollywood. The next year he decided = to make a film which this time would be shot on location in Paris. =   So he went over there with = the camera crew, and the first scene called…