Daily Humor

Time for some odd jokes for kids of all ages . . . =   Did you know that sending a letter to Santa Claus up = your chimney is definitely black mail?   Why should = you cover your eyes in ketchup?=A0 Because Heinz sight is = 20/20.  …

Admiring the = Christmas trees displayed in his neighbor’s windows, Nathan asked his = father, ‘Daddy, I know we’re Jewish but can’t we have a = Hanukkah Tree this year?’ ‘What sort of = question is that? No, of course not,’ said his = father. ‘Well, why not?’ = asked…

[What my friends are saying about their lives. Not. = Me.]   “Sometimes getting out of bed ruins the whole = day.”   “You know you have family issues at Christmas = when they all unfriend you on Facebook.”   “Give = up carbs?  Over my bread body.”   “If…

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, = stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December = night.  His four-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly = sobbing.  Bob’s wife/Barbara’s mother was dying of = cancer.   Little Barbara couldn’t understand why her mommy = could never…

Why did the cow run frantically across the = road? So she wouldn’t get creamed. ~~~ There = were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The = first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty = scary. They say it is spreading fast; I…

I grew up in a tough = inner city neighborhood. How tough? Not mentioning names, but a kid I = knew sat down to write a Christmas gift list to Jesus, rather than = Santa, to be sure it would be answered.   He first wrote, = ‘Dear Jesus, I…

DJT forwarded this = version of a “Christmas Songs” quiz to see if grif.net = readers can figure out what well-known Christmas songs these words are = describing.   1.  My sole desire for the yuletide = season is receipt of a pair of central incisors   2.  Celestial messengers…

[Want to know how we come up with our daily drivel? = Here are some co-workers we utilize]   Grif.Net = Complaint Line =3D Levon Hold   Grif.Net = Commencement Speaker =3D Gladys Overwith   Grif.Net = Transportation Specialist =3D Minnie Van Driver   Grif.Net = Sensitivity Trainer =3D Ophelia…

[Jokes for the = younger grif.net readers . . . but face it, most adults will groan just = as loudly as the kids]   What do you get from = a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.   What do you call a = cow with six inch legs? Ground beef.…

December that year appeared bleak. As a newly single = parent of two small boys, I worked two jobs to pay our bills. At times, = it seemed I earned just enough salary to pay the babysitter, with = nothing left over for the basics. Then it got worse. In…

[We’ve posted possible t-shirt messages three = times, but loyal/bored grif.net readers keep sending me more = ideas] "Where am I, and what am I doing = here?"   “I did not hit you. I high-fived your = face”   "Just put the chocolate down and = back away slowly"…

[A friend on Facebook asked for “any = advice” you could give.  Here is a sampling of suggestions = from his friends – some ‘good’ and some = ‘other’.]   Never take a = sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night   Never pee on = an electric…

These Three Wings of KFC Are   Good = Christian Men Rejoice (but be careful of excessive displays of = emotion)   I’ll be home for Christmas (cuz we have services and = I’m the pastor and I have to be there)   Whose Child = is This? (the Nursery…