Daily Humor

One day a truck loaded with fertilizer got a flat tire = by a farm where a young boy lived. The lad walked by the truck = and asked the driver, "What are you going to use this fertilizer = for?" The man said, "I’m putting it on my =…

[At least one of these will bring a groan from every = age group. Guaranteed.]   Q: Why do = mummies make the best spies?A: They keep everything under = wraps Q: Why should you not view an eclipse through a = colander?A: You might strain your eyes   Q:…

I noticed = the paper reported that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to = cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even = number?:   I noticed it = seems ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom = until they are flashing behind…

[This poem = was written during World War II, on the wall of a cellar in the Cologne = concentration camp, by an unknown Jew facting = death.]   I believe in = the sun, even when it is not shining.And I believe in love, even = when there’s no…

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the = street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was = especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale’s Used Cars, = she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a…

[This is an update on an OLD joke, but still makes me = smile . . . and cry a little.  Here is a measure of aging between = 1967 when I was in college and fifty years later when I’m now on = Social Security]   1967: Long =…

[A friend in England swears = these signs have been spotted in public places around her city.  = Somehow, I believe it.]   Sign in a London department = store: Bargain basement upstairs.   Sign in an office: Would the = person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring…

The = first 70 years of childhood are the hardest.   Does = running late count as exercise?   I am 100% done = with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.   When I = was a kid, I wanted to be older.  THIS is not what I =…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_00DF_01D32AC2.64552500 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_00E0_01D32AC2.64552500″ ——=_NextPart_001_00E0_01D32AC2.64552500 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [I will not forget the unspeakable evil of 9/11. Many have asked each year for this post to be reprinted. I will oblige today.] Over the past years, I’ve read with interest…

[Rick Stedman of Fox News wrote = this after the hurricane and floods in Texas, but thought it might = continue to be a good commentary on Irma and = beyond]   When hurricanes like Harvey = devastate so many lives, where is God?  That’s a really good = question—one…

Checked the = milk. It’s so far past its expiration date that I’m only going to = have a small bite.   Joined a gym. = Mixed results from my first workout. Fifteen minutes cardio. Ten minutes = defibrillator. Three days hospital.   People used to = take their kids…

My regular = dentist gave sage advice years ago: “Don’t outlive your = teeth”.  I didn’t listen.   Next week I = get to have 3 roots cut out (teeth broke over the past two years) and 2 = more teeth extracted.  This is in addition to the 4 already…

I’ve = learned that . . . “if I follow the motto to ‘Eat = Right’ and ‘Stay Fit’, I will ‘Die = Anyway’.” I’ve learned that . . . “the = ‘things that come to those that wait’ may be the things left = by those who got there…