Daily Humor

In 1998 I taught a college logic class and asked the student= s a question. If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 100= 0 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how ol= d am I.   Brandon in the back of…

A young minister, in the first week of his first parish, was= called to do the funeral for an eccentric man who had just died. As he pre= pared for the funeral, he stood before the open casket and consoled the wid= ow. He didn’t know exactly what to say,…

Teach= ing Hebrew I was asked about the odd situation in pronouncing the sound of = the letter for the “s” (Hebrew “shin”). Sometimes t= he letter sounded like an “s” while most often pronounced as &#= 8220;sh”. Students thought that odd. Sometimes Hebrew for non-Jews ad= ds a niqqud…

[Here’s another batch of potential signs that might fi= t in your kitchen, at your own risk!] The only reason I have a kitch= en is because it came with the house!   If you don’t like my standards of cooking, lower your sta= ndards.   If a messy kitchen…

[Been reading in Isaiah and overwhelmed at the encouragement I fin= d in the promises of God, and the comfort to my soul in the assurance that = the Lord is with me in the challenges of life as I age. Pray that each read= er may also find strength…

[Ideas for signs in the modern kitchen] I’m creative.= You can’t expect me to be neat too! So this isn’t Home Sweet Home . . . Adjust!= Ring= Bell for Maid Service . . . If no answer, do it yourself! Martha Stewart doesn’= t live here!! I clean house…

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she = requested no male pallbearers. &nbsp= ; In her handwritten instructions for her memo= rial service, she wrote the reason. "They wouldn’t take me out = while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m…

Hospi= tal regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. Ho= wever, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman alre= ady dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insiste= d he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. Afte= r a…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0717_01DC10EF.4A012750 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Today’s quiz tests knowledge of Computer hardware and software Acronyms and Abbreviations. Some are almost universally known, and others were (and some still are) a mystery to me. Example: WWW – ____________ [World Wide Web] 1.…

Ju L.= announced, “I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it = feelded good.”   Tim M. reported, &= #8220;A man fell on the baggage carousel at the airport, but he’s slo= wly coming around.”   Deena O. admit= ted, “I used to be very narcissistic, but you…

[If J= esus gave the Sermon on the Mount today, would this be the response?]Jesus went into the mountains with His disciples; and He began to teach t= hem, saying: Blessed are the meek.Blessed are the poor in= spirit.Blessed are those who mourn.Blessed are the peacemakers.Blessed are those who hunger…

My mother taught me about STAMINA "You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished."   My = mother taught me about WEATHER "It l= ooks as if a tornado swept through your room."   My mother taught me ho= w to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I ye= lled because…

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE= "If you’re going to kill each other, do it out= side.  I just finished cleaning!"   My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out = of the carpet."   My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL…