Daily Humor

I went to a = movie the other day and in the front row was an old man, seated with his = companion dog next to him.   It was a = sad/funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog = cried his eyes…

A dog walked into a butcher = shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walked up to the meat = case and calmly sat there until it was his turn to be helped. A man, who = was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed…

F= or years, Teresa and I enjoyed having a Border Collie named = “Ruffy”.  Many have marveled at how smart our dog = was.  Let me share a few examples: I asked her "What is = on the outside of trees?" S= he responded with, "Bark, Bark" Then I asked,…

[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net or for those = reading the daily blog on www.grif.net or on Facebook – on = Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the = weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, = religious…

[Continuing a = snail-paced adventure on dieting]   "Fake = news," I whisper to myself as the bathroom scale shows me gaining = another pound.   My all-time favorite = machine at the gym is the one where you put money in and cool snacks = come out. So my…

THANK YOU for = all the kind words and sympathetic birthday greetings yesterday.=C2=A0 = Many asked [seriously] how I was doing. I’m in pretty decent = shape for a dude who was in a serious car accident and spent the last = six weeks recovering in a hospital bed. Of…

[Hit 70 today = and still learning new texting slang for my = peers]   ATD: At The = Doctor’s BFF: Best = Friend’s Funeral CBM: Covered = By Medicare WTB: Wet the = Bed TTYL: Talk To = You Louder WAITT: Who Am = I Talking To? WIWYA: When…

[A dozen more = “reinvented” acronyms for Boomers]   TGIF: Thank = Goodness It’s Four (Four O’clock – Early Bird = Special)   FWB:= Friend = With Betablockers   FYI:= For = Your Indigestion   GTG:= Got to = Groan   JK: Just = Kvetching   TTYL: Talk = To…

I’ve = tried to be up-to-date and hip with all the new texting acronyms, but = now I’m finding Senior Citizens (like me) are using it as a new = "private language" with meanings far different than ruddy = youth might think:   BTW:= Bring = The Wheelchair   ROFL,CGU:…

[This small tract is dated 1958, but came across it = recently cleaning out a file and it seemed right up-to-date. Don’t know = to whom credit belongs.]   THE = 23rd CHANNEL   The = T.V. set is my shepherd; my spiritual growth shall = want.   It maketh…

Me: “Hey, did you get my letter?” Son: “No.” Me: “That’s odd. My carrier penguin should’ve made it by = now.” Son: “You mean carrier = pigeon?” Me: “Wait, what?”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

Wife [on phone]: “Did you pre-heat the oven like I = asked?” Me: “Yep” Wife: “What temperature?” Me: “534” Wife: “That’s the clock.” Me: Wife: Me: = “535”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

Me: (on deathbed): "Will you do one thing for = me?" Wife: "Sure. I guess. What is = it?" Me: "After I’m gone, will you marry = Larry?" Wife: "Well, okay, but I = thought you hated Larry." Me: "I = do."   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net…