Daily Humor

[Each month we start= with bad wordplays, bad puns, bad jokes, and bad luck. Here is Part 3 (Mar= ch) as 2024 marches inexorably on. Read at your own peril – these are= guaranteed not to get better with age.]   Wo= rd-Play Confessions =3D   I have been experimenting…

[Many assume I was a precocious and intelligent student even= as a child. I applaud your astute intellect and deductive skills.  He= re are a few examples of my brain in action in third grade.] TEACHER: Bob, name one important thing we have in A= merica today that we didn’t…

William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania, was a prominent citizen = of Philadelphia.  Penn had two maiden aunts in that city who owned a b= akery known far and wide for its fruit pies, reputed to be the best in the = colonies.   After many years of success, the two…

[It is EASY to answer just the MOVIE from which these quotation= s became famous. But MUCH HARDER to give either the CHARACTER or ACTOR who = said the words in that movie. Correct answer must be BOTH movie and either = the character or the actor who said those…

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have = been done already.   2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work= or find excuses.   3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of co= nsideration.   = 4. I…

Gratitude in the Bible is a resounding theme, echoing from Gene= sis to Revelation. It’s not merely encouraged but exemplified as a wa= y of life, deeply rooted in the relationship between God and humanity. In t= he Old Testament, we find gratitude woven into the fabric of Israelite cult=…

Yesterday we saw some things for the Arizona snowbirds Today= , you know you are spending the winter in Florida or the Valley when . .&nb= sp; * You notice your car overhe= ating before you start it.   * Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-w= ay.   *…

One of my friends sent this about the Snowbirds down in Phoe= nix or Tucson. Many apply to Texas or Florida, too, and we’ll share m= ore tomorrow. You KNOW you’ve left the frozen tundra and headed to Ar= izona because:   * Your house is made of stucco and…

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that= Liam had kissed her after class.  =   "How did that happen?" g= asped her mother.   "It wasn’t easy," admitted the young lady, &qu= ot;but three girls helped me catch him."   ~~ANSWERS TO HUMAN BODY QUIZ~~=   1. What…

[We often take the human body, a marvelously designed mechanism= by a wonderful God, for granted.  Here are a dozen questions to see w= hat YOU know about YOU. This is a repeat quiz from 15 years ago, but unsure= anyone still remembers. Hey, I guessed for 5 right and…

What is usually =E2=80=9Csupper time=E2=80=9D at your house? (W= e only have =E2=80=9Cdinner=E2=80=9D on Sunday 1:00 pm after church; our ro= utine is breakfast, lunch, supper during the week)Because of my wife=E2= =80=99s late work in her clinic, we fell into a routine of dinner at 7:30 e= ach evening.…

A daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable= and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it. She was tired= of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was= solved, another one soon followed. &n= bsp; Her father, a…

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O’Hare Field in Chicag= o:“Do not activate with wet hands.”   In a New Hampshire jewelry st= ore:“Ears pierced while you wait.”   In a New York restaurant:&= #8220;Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.&#822= 1;   In…