Daily Humor

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar   War Dims Hope for Peace =   If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly= , It May Last   Cold Wave Li= nked to Temperatures   Half = of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation   Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_032A_01DC2A1A.C9C80F00 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [Reprint from 09/18/00 Grif Net, and still true 25 years later] Over the years I have learned . . . A basketball in my hands is worth about $19. A basketball in Michael Jordan’s hands is…

State Offers Rare Opportunity to Goo= se Hunters =   Women’s Movemen= t Called More Broad-Based   Teacher Strikes Idle Kids   Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice   Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant =   Fund Set Up for Beating Victim’s Kin   Killer Sentenced to Die for…

You c= an’t make these up. Real headlines from both print and online news so= urces.   March Planned For Next August   Blind Bishop Appointed to See   Lingerie Shipment Hijacked–Thief Gives Police the Slip =   L.A. Voters Approve Urban = Renewal by Landslide   Patie= nt at…

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had an= y brothers and sisters.   She replied, "No, it’s just me. I’m the= lonely child."   ~~ANSWERS to Self-Proclaimed Capitals of the World Quiz~~   Example: Red Flannel capital of the world =3D H – Cedar =…

[Do y= ou know the US cities that are self-proclaimed as special “capitals&#= 8221; of the world? I knew a couple that were in Wisconsin where I live and= NONE of the others.If you know more than I did (and I’m giving you a= ll the answers for Matching), you…

[A sixth-grade teacher sent me this one. Sounds like= someone who knows what has happened in education.]   1. Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a= truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. = What is his profit ? 2. Teaching Math…

George Matheson lost his sight as a youth. It did not stop him = seeking education where he excelled at the University of Edinburgh with his= master’s degree at age 20. He became a pastor but by age 40 he was d= eep in “extreme mental distress”. One summer evening…

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what = his future holds.    His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You = are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything a= bout you."   The frog is thrilled! "This is great! Will I…

"You look terrific."   Translation:  "Oh, = please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving."   ~~~~~~~~   "I m= issed you.   Translation: "I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hun= gry, and we are out of toilet paper."   ~~~~~~~~~   I’m not lost.  I…

"Oh, don’t fuss.  I just cut myself; it’s no big d= eal."   Translation:  "I have severed a limb but will bleed to= death before I admit I’m hurt."   ~~~~~~~   "I do help around the ho= use."   Translation:  "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry=…

"Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard."   Tr= anslation:  "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."=   ~~~~~~~~   "That’s interesting, dear."   Translation:  "Ar= e you still talking?"     ~~~~~~~~   "Honey, we don’t need mater= ial things to prove our love." =  …

[Men = have a way of talking that is sometimes difficult for women to understand t= he meaning. This week, our goal is to help the wives and gals out there to = grasp what these short phrases actually mean. You’re welcome.]   "It’s a guy thing.&qu= ot;   Translation: …