[Looking for the right words to = express your Valentine sentiment? Might want to look = further.]   George = Burns Love is a lot like a backache: = it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s = there.   Charles = M. Schulz All you need is…

In a small = town, planners of a new tavern started to lay foundation to open their = business. The local Christian church started a campaign with petitions = and prayers to block the bar from opening.   Work = progressed, however, right up until the week before opening, when…

The cashier at = the grocery store asked me if I=E2=80=99d like my milk in a = bag. I replied, = "No, just leave it in the carton" I saw an ad that = said, "Radio for sale $2, volume stuck on = full" I immediately = thought to myself,…

By the time = Jordy arrived, the noon football game had already started. “Why = are you so late?” asked his friend.   “I = couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football = game. So, I tossed a coin,” said Jordy.   “But = that shouldn’t…

I am always = late for work.But I make up for it by always leaving = early.   I hired a = handyman and gave him a list of jobs to do, but of the jobs on the list, = he only completed numbers 1,3,5 and 7. Evidently, he only…

An old = preacher was filling the pulpit in a small church, and after the service = stood at the door shaking hands with parishioners. One woman turned = bright red and looked at her shoes as she shook the preacher’s = hand.   “‘I= hope you didn’t take it…

Two fellows = were out ice fishing yesterday (Sunday), and one was feeling a bit = guilty about not being in church.  After he confessed his concern = over missing worship, his friend shared his = thoughts.   “Well, I = wouldn’t have gone to church today anyway,” his friend…

Many know the = lyrics of the simple doxology. Our family sang it together at every = gathering as our prayer for the meal.  In the remarkable acoustics = of St Anne’s church in Jerusalem, we sang it in 4-part harmony and = very slowly, since the repeating echo of…

There are some = phrases in the English language that just sound right, you know? = "Tick tock" has a much better flow than "tock tick," = and "chat chit" — as opposed to "chit chat" = — feels downright wrong.   Like, we’d = never say we played "pong…

[Catchy = headlines or opening sentences of on-line articles that are designed to = make you stop and read . . . ] World #1 ranked tennis player = knocked out of Australian Open after missing just two = shots   Sisters = reunited after 15 years in check-out line…

The = pastor’s wife called and asked him to pick up some organic kale = for that night’s dinner on his way home. He arrived at the store = and began to search all over for organic kale before finally asking the = produce clerk where he might find some.…

[Our = first-of-the-month pun offering of Tom Swifty jokes reach = “B” level (each adverb or verb will begin with that = letter)]   “My boat = leaks," said Tom balefully.   "I need a = pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.   “This = wind is awful!" Tom said blusterfully.…

Steve asks, = =E2=80=9CMy wife has gained a little extra weight.=C2=A0 Would be okay = for me to have a private discussion with her about = this?=E2=80=9D Dr Bob says, = =E2=80=9CI wouldn=E2=80=99t.=C2=A0 Women who are a little overweight = live longer than any man who mentions = it.=E2=80=9D  …