Instead of going to Starbucks, I = make coffee at home, mispronounce my own name as loudly as possible, = then light a $5 bill on fire.   Jeff said, “I don’t = call it coffee. I prefer the term, “break fluid” that makes = you go.”   A yawn…

What are coffee shops in Russia = called? Tsarbucks.   There is a time and a place for = decaf coffee. Never, and in the = trash.   What do you call it when cafe = customers joke about their coffee? A brewhaha.   Don’t ever let anyone tell =…

I visited a coffee shop where the = Wi-Fi password was wedonthavewifi. It was a very frustrating = conversation with the cashier.   What’s it called when you = steal someone’s coffee? Mugging.   A man at a restaurant was annoyed = that the waiter hadn’t brought a spoon for…

I don’t have a problem with = caffeine. I have a problem without = caffeine.   How are coffee beans like my = kids? They’re always getting = grounded.   I was on the phone with my wife = and said, “I’m almost home, honey, please put the coffee =…

Thi= s morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Aft= er 15 minutes on the highway, I realized I left my car at = home.   A = guy walks into a cafe and orders a coffee to go. The= coffee gets up and leaves.  …

[We retired in = Wisconsin. It snowed on March 31st. It melted off on April = 1st.   My wife asked if this would be the = “last snow” before spring.  I said, “Probably = not”. Awoke today to another couple inches of snow.  = Reminded me of a poem by…

[Another = month, another round of Tom Swifty (“letter D”) puns to = endure, er, enjoy]   "This, = that, these, those, and such," said Tom = demonstratively.   "Tom, you = are falling below average on your tests," said the teacher = degradingly.   "The = eclipse is starting,"…

[Many (2 = exactly) liked the Q&A for kids and the beach.  That demands = MORE great humor, but you will have to settle for mine = instead.] What’s the first card game played at the = beach? Go = Fish.   Why = don’t sharks like fast food? Because…

[Tough recuperation, so lots of down time to let the = brain wander o’er hill and dale while the mouth = heals]   **In the Old West, they would mount lanterns on their = horses for traveling at night. Probably an early form of saddle light = navigation.   **Poop…

[Tired of = Spring just peeking around, but not really showing up?  Wishing = Summer would get here and the open water call?  Smile a bit with = lame Q&A for kids] What did the ocean say to the = beach? Nothing.  = It just waved.   What did the…

WAITING FOR = SPRINGJohn Newton   Though cloudy = skies, and northern blasts,Retard the gentle spring = awhile;The sun will conquer, prove at last,And = nature wear a vernal smile.. The promise, which from age to = age,Has brought the changing seasons round;Again shall calm the = winter’s rage,Perfume the air, and paint the…

Millennials – the = smoothie-drinking generation that grew up with smartphones, tablets, and = never learning how many genders exist out there – deserve the = Boomers’ scorn at the man-bun wearing, Instagram-posting, = avocado-eating generation.  We Boomers believe the generation using = selfie-sticks need to take a ‘long’ look…

A = woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In rushing = to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to = and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the = receiver off the hook.…