OXYMORONS IN = EVERYDAY EXPRESSIONS.  One last glance at these odd word = combinations. How many of these have slipped into your = vocabulary?   Working = vacation   Plastic = silverware   Controlled = chaos   Original = copy   Only = choice   Act = naturally   Old…

One of = England’s famous hymnists and most popular poets of his time was = William Cowper (pronounced “koo-per”), 1731-1800.  He = was the forerunners of Romantic Poetry and recognized by Samuel = Taylor Coleridge as "the best modern = poet".   After being = institutionalized for insanity, Cowper found refuge…

[For those who = took out a small business loan to buy gas and drive West for a vacation, = here are some riddles to help pass the time in the = minivan]   Q. What did = the cowboy say at his second rodeo?A. This ain’t my first =…

My wife was a certified nutritional consultant, and her = shop carried a wide variety of alternative health products. One day a = cowboy came in and said, “I’d like some vitamins for my baby = boy”.   Teresa asked, “Are you looking for = Vitamin B or C or D?”…

Friends are = the chocolate chips in the cookies of = life.      The trouble with life = is there’s no background music.    Germs = attack people where they are weakest. This explains the number of head = colds.      It’s not just the ups = and downs that make life difficult. It’s the =…

Everyone needs = to believe in something. I believe in = chocolate.      I don’t suffer = from stress. I am a = carrier.      Work harder. People = on welfare depend on = you.      Errors have been made. = Others will be blamed.      I’m = out of bed and dressed. What more do you =…

If we quit = voting, will they go = away?      When money talks, no = one criticizes its accent.      I = refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed = person.      Tell me what you = need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without = it.      Due to inflation, the…

A cyber-friend = of mine wrote me a note in July 2000 and I came across it this morning . = . .   “I am = enjoying your great sense of humor, of which you cannot hide between = serious lines. You have a great webpage at www.grif.net  and…

[After sharing = SIGNS of growing older, we need some hard-learned ADVICE on handling = advancing years.] You should not = be afraid to die. Just plan NOT to be there when it = happens.   Get used to = the idea that in retirement you never get a day…

[This week = we’ve shared new/old SIGNS of growing older.  Here is some = hard-learned ADVICE on handling advancing = years.] Remember that = you’re so old all of your friends in heaven think you probably = didn’t make it anyway.   Quit worrying = about your health. It’ll go…

EVEN MORE = SIGNS YOU ARE GROWING OLD   You find it is = easier to get older than it is to get wiser.   You recognize = that some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the = hydrant.   You wish the = buck really stopped here, since…

TEN MORE SIGNS = YOU ARE GROWING OLD   You know all = the answers, but nobody asks the questions.   You are a = "17" around the neck, a "46" around the waist and a = "112" around the golf course.   You find = yourself giving good advice…

[In January we = listed signs of ‘groaning old’ and faithful grif net readers = added some suggestions.  Most not ‘new’, but then, = neither are we.] TEN SIGNS YOU ARE GROWING = OLD   You start = complaining that "They’re building car seats too = low!"   Your ears…