[First weekend of each month are quotations that pack a punch w= here I need it. Couldn’t verify origination of any of these that focu= s on “doing”.]  = “Do something today that your future self will t= hank you for.”   “You will never always be motivated, so you…

State/Local Laws in Wisconsin have me scratching my head. Here = are some examples:   1. It is illegal for restaurants to serve Margarine unless spe= cifically requested by the consumer. &n= bsp; 2. If two trains meet, neither may proceed u= ntil one of them moves.   3. Livestock…

Both of my friends asked me what was going on in my life. = So I shared this update about my life.   > My daughter gave me a ‘World’s Best= Dad’ mug. At least she inherited my sense of humor.   > My dog is smart. I aske= d him…

[We continue monthly puns from Tom Swifty humor, moving on to t= he letter “P”.  “I offer this list as a gift to you,= ” said Bob presently.]   "My pencil is dull," said Tom pointlessly.=   &quot= ;Yes, I stole the glass from the windows," said Tom painstakingly.  …

[Am I alone thinking that the level of “help” in so= me shops has gone down faster than my retirement savings under this adminis= tration?]   **At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding t= he price for my cucumber. “Maybe the = list is alphabetical,” I offered.…

[With the coast-to-coast storms of the past week, this anonymou= s British poem from yesteryear seems to be in our forecast] Whether = the weather be fine Or whether the weather be not, Whether the = weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We’ll weather th= e weather…

[Cards and hearts adorn our house all February. Here are bits a= nd pieces of poems that adorn my heart.] She walks in beauty, like t= he night Of cloudless climes and starry skie= s; And all that’s best of dark and bri= ght Meet in her aspect and her…

[More than simple Dad Jokes to which we all groan expectedly, h= ere are a couple of ramped up (or down) in perspective]   Dad: Where do rainbows go= if they are bad? Kid: I don’t know Dad: PrismKid: Really?Dad: Yes. Obviou= sly, they just get a light sentence. &n=…

And the true, short story of every parent: “My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end.&#822= 1;   Sin= ce I worked so hard keeping the house tidy, I started a new job as a street= cleaner today to get paid for it. There&#82= 17;s no training…

Found out most men in Wisconsin prefers brooms over vacuum clea= ners when it comes to tidying the floors. So= rry if that seems a sweeping generalization.   Salesman: “Ma’am, this = vacuum cleaner is so great that it will cut all your work by half!” Woman: “That’s fantastic! Give…

My cousin wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns.= I told her that I’ve got loads of them.   After ironing = all the clothes, my mom accidentally dropped the whole pile of laundry. I witnessed it all unfold.   Ironing puns aren’t = as bad as everyone…

I’m really not into spring cleaning. Come to think of it, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter = cleaning either.   I feel like I should clean the house. I’m going to lay down until the feeling passes.   You never know what yo= u have until you clean…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0305_01D9437C.DA905CC0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0306_01D9437C.DA905CC0″ ——=_NextPart_001_0306_01D9437C.DA905CC0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit The family gathered round her bed as the doctor left the room She looked at all their faces, saw the sadness and the gloom The news that they had just received had…