1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a group of men by 50% without recrimination. 3. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is five minutes. For a girl running late,…

God said: “What’s the matter, Adam? You look so miserable all the time.” Adam said: “I’m bored having nobody to talk to.” “Right,” said God, “I’m going to give you a companion. She will be called a woman. This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when…

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament. At first I said, ‘Naaahhh! I’m just not that good.’ Then they said to me, ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind Kids.’ Then I thought . . . “I could win this!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus…

Looking in a baby-name site (for research, NOT personal need) I came across this list of the most obnoxious names. 1. “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined”. Some young (and possibly insane) British teenager actually legally changed his name to this long and…

“Today’s school problems are a result of fear. The teachers are afraid of the principal. The principal is afraid of the superintendent. The superintendent is afraid of the school board. The school board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. And the children are afraid…

[Kay forwarded this story KNOWING I would love it] A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from…

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. My daughter’s birthday was in August, so I got her…

If you’re like me and can’t afford medical coverage, then I have some good news that I’ve found out from flying recently. Bypass the clinic and go straight to an airport. There you’ll get a free full-body x-ray and a free breast exam. And if you mention Al Qaeda, you…

The following list was compiled by a Lutheran who, observing other Lutherans, wrote down exactly what he saw or heard. Having been raised in Minnesota, I laughed and laughed at the accuracy of the list (laughed WITH them, not AT them). Feel free to change this to your favorite religious…

I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. The money is always greener in the other guy’s wallet. If We Quit Voting, Will They Go Away? When money talks, no one criticizes its accent. My bank account needs month-month resuscitation. I’m out of bed and dressed. What…

Mother’s Day has the most phone calls Mother’s Day has the most meals eaten out Mother’s Day has the most plants/flowers Mother’s Day has the most cards (not Christmas cards) Mother’s Day has the most collect phone calls (oops – that’s Father’s Day) Mothering Sunday, commonly called “Mothers’ Day” in…

A woman was in the hospital for intensive tests. The doctor said to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.” “Oh that’s terrible,” the woman sighed. “What would recommend for me to do?” The doctor replied, “I would advise you to go…

A guy in my office revealed to me that, in a moment of tender romantic passion he had asked his girlfriend to marry him. Of course I immediately asked, “What did she say?” “I don’t know. She hasn’t returned my text yet.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…