Q. What did Arnold Schwarzenegger’s’ wife get for Christmas? A. Half of everything. ~~~ Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? A. He sold his soul to Santa. ~~ Q. What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?…

To help save the economy, I was told that the Obama Administration will announce January 1st that it has authorized the Immigration Department to start deporting seniors instead of illegal alien criminals. This will lower Social Security and Medicare costs and save more money than patrolling the borders. It has…

My grandson was so proud waking me up and bringing me my first cup of coffee this morning. As I got down lower in the cup I noticed he had put something in it. With a little trepidation, I fished out two small green plastic army men that had been…

A woman we know got on the scale after all the Christmas parties and dinners and as she suspected, she had gained a few pounds It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed with great difficulty into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering if the added weight…

CHRISTMAS STORY FROM GOSPEL OF LUKE “And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one…

Tragedy struck the home of America’s most popular poet.  On July 9th, 1861, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s wife, Fanny, was near an open window sealing locks of her daughter’s hair in a packet, using hot sealing wax.  It was thought that a spark from a match or a candle caused her…

A little girl was asked to draw a picture of the Nativity along with the rest of her class. At the end of the school day, the drawings were sent home for the parents to adore and display on their refrigerators. Alexis’ mom was excited when her daughter told her…

The wife and I were headed to California and out of the snow and cold of Wyoming. Now, I’m into Christmas, but can’t stand airports with tacky red and green decor, and loudspeakers blaring elevator renditions of well-known Christmas music. I grit my teeth and went to check in our…

[Some easy. Some hard. Test your knowledge of Christmas traditions] 1. What is usually concealed in the Christmas pudding? 2. A traditional advent calendar has how many days? 3. What is the last day of Christmas called? 4.Traditional Christingle can be made by which fruit? 5.Christmas is connected to which…

[Told by CS that this was a true story] My brother and his wife had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon when suddenly, my sister-in-law realized that her husband had disappeared. Somewhat irate, she called his cell phone and demanded: “Where did you go?” My…

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the…

‘Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas time.’ ~Laura Ingalls Wilder ‘I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.’ ~Charles Dickens ‘He…

It may never replace Hallmark, but here are some specialty card ideas for the Christmas holidays . . . For Sheep: “A merry Christmas to ewe” “Season’s Bleatings” For Cats: “I wish you a furry merry Christmas and a Happy mew year” For Gorillas: “Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells” For Sheep…