A lion was walking in the jungle and met two men, one sitting on a rock reading a book, the other typing on his laptop. The lion ate only one. Which one and Why? . . . . . . . He ate the man reading the book, because everyone…

[Sullivan Ballou, a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Infantry, wrote this letter home to his wife in Smithfield, Rhode Island:] My very dear Sarah, The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again,…

Over the years, I have usually managed to decode the cute, but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors. But every so often, I get stumped. I was in the Hilton in Houston last week and wandered off in search of the men’s room and found myself confronted…

Overheard in the clinic: ‘My stomach is so big I’m embarrassed by it,’ commented Will. One of our gals asked, ‘Have you tried to diet?’ He replied, ‘Yes, but whatever color I use, it still sticks out.’ ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

Abort/Retry/Ignore (read like Poe’s “The Raven”) Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor; Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets: I took my jump-drive from the drawer. Typing with a steady…

It’s amazing how stores seem to take Valentines Day to heart. And here is an adaptation of 10 Commandments for this special day for guys like me. I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me. II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze…

I am a member of golf’s 99%. I play golf, but have not yet made it to the professional level. I have played the game for over 40 years, but have not really put in the practice time and study to be the best. I also probably do not have…

[The Grif.Net will be off line for a week for needed maintenance. Sorry.] My great-grandfather William Rogers was both a Methodist circuit-riding preacher and a soldier in the Second Regiment, 24th Regiment of Foot, South Wales Borderers. He had been ministering in rural parishes in Western Iowa, but left his…

Students at our Wyoming home-school group, after talking about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, were asked to write a paragraph about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. My 11-year old wrote, “Oil must be bad. When my dad opened a can of sardines last night,…

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you. 1. Put both lids of the toilet up. And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the…

Motto for February – “Puns are bad, but Poetry is verse.” “There are some that are wise. There are others that are otherwise.” “Remember, a good pun is its own reword” “One man’s fish is another man’s poisson” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

For 2012 I decided to make several New Year’s resolutions that I COULD keep, that would make me feel GOOD and SUCCESSFUL (rather than feel defeated about failing to keep them as I have others years). So here are my TOP 12 RESOLUTIONS on the to-do list. Will post on…

[A grif.net reader sent this testimonial] I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape even with my diet. So I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up…