Wife says spiders and snakes are part of the eek-o-system.~~ I ate a frozen apple.Yep. I know= =2E Hard core.   ~~ Accordion to a recent survey, re= placing words in a sentence with the names of musical instruments often goe= s undetected.   ~~ I’m pining for a good…

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance r= elationship" thing. I have to stay = 100 feet away from her at all times. &= nbsp; Also, the police say I should stop referrin= g to her as my girlfriend.  =   ~~QUIZ ANSWERS F= OR MOST ORDERED…

[This is a crazy quiz based on recently compiled stats. I will = list Fast Food Restaurants (regional and national); all you need to do is g= uess the MOST ORDERED ITEM at that chain.   Example: Wing StopAnswer: ORIGINAL = HOT WINGS   Okay, that was a softball example. …

[Looking back 25 years to an old Grif Net offering and noting t= hat the humor today is no better.  I was teaching college in Minnesota= and think this was an old worn-out joke then.] Four men were in a M= inneapolis hospital waiting room because their wives are having…

Lina, as she was known to friends and family, was in fragile he= alth but used her hours as a pastor’s daughter in the small Swedish t= own of Fryderyd to read voraciously with time for deep introspection. But a= t age 26, tragedy struck.  Her father, Jonas Sandell, had…

How do you know if a sniper likes you? He really misses you.   ~~ I went to the doct= or and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?”= I said, “They’re yellow, Homer’s fat= , and Marge has blue hair.”…

The wife and I love to walk the beach in summer. We noticed a g= al who was at the beach every day, and often walked up to folks sunbathing = or just relaxing on the beach.   She wasn’t unusual, and most of the folks sh= e approached would…

Two crows were near a cornfield when they noticed a figure that= looked like a man in the distance. &quo= t;See that over there? What is that?", asked the first crow. The second crows took a long look. "That= ‘s a scarecrow. But it sure looks authentic, doesn’t it?" "How…

I was feeling really warm with these high summer temps. The wife said if I just put on sunglasses, I’= d be a lot cooler.   ~~ Know that Humpty Dumpty had = a terrible summer. But heard that at least h= e had a great fall.   ~~ I…

Carla B moaned, “Ohio is stealing my l= ife story – a series of train wrecks in an already depressed area.” Thom D concluded, “127% of all people e= xaggerate.”   Adrian G reminded us, “You can turn your regular sofa int= o a sofa bed just by forgetting your…

[Random “stuff” I’ve collected and share on f= irst weekend of each month] “Don’t watch the clock; do w= hat it does. Keep going.” ~ Sam Levens= on   &#8= 220;Falling down is how we grow. Staying down is how we die.” ~ Brian Vaszily   “There may be people…

What was Icarus’ least favorite food? Hot wings.   ~~ The last thing my gran= dfather said before he died was “Pints, liters, gallons!” That spoke volumes to me.   ~~ The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve. Yes, it was an Apple. But with a= n…

Heard that God challenged the Devil to a game of baseball.=   “How= can I lose?” God asked. “I have all the best players up here!&= #8221;   “How can I lose?” replied the Devil. “I have all of the= umpires down here.”  = ~~ &nbs= p; ~~ANSWERS TO LARGEST…