[We always send out a few puns on the first of every = month. Even short months.]   A plateau is = a high form of flattery.   At our = clinic we try to make plump ladies see the error of their = weighs.   The professor discovered that…

Somedays I felt like = I was surrounded by idiots.  Other days I realized it was not just = some days. Shoveling my driveway while the wind is still blowing = is as foolish as cleaning house while I still have kids living at = home.   I’m convinced =…

As he = aged, a friend asked his doctor, “How do you determine when an old = person is senile and needs to go into a nursing home?” The = doctor replied, “We have a simple test. We fill up a tub with = water, ask the patient to empty…

The next time you think you have an excuse why you = just CAN’T do something, why God CAN’T use you, remember = these people:   Noah = was a drunk,   Abraham was too old,   Isaac = was a daydreamer,   Jacob = was a liar,   Leah…

Someone asked me if any nation today had a capital = named after an automobile.=A0 Immediately I thought of Senegal.=A0 Okay. = That was lousy.=A0 But here are SERIOUS but “light” = questions you may either answer for your own enjoyment or use to = impress/astound friends and family with…

[Keeping you up-to-date on news you need not = know]   Breaking News: All Walmart’s in Syria have = become Targets overnight   Breaking News: Man wearing only boxers lead police on brief = chase   Breaking News: Marijuana legislation sent to joint = committee   Breaking News: A man…

To anyone interested:   A = friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl in Houston, Texas, on = February 5, 2017 (Box seats that he paid quite a price for). =   When he bought the tickets he didn’t realize that = the game was on the…

Two men = were sitting side by side on an airplane. One turned to the other and = said. "Say, did you attend the University of = Wisconsin?" Startled, the other gent said, = "You’re right! How did you = know?"   “Well,” he replied, = "the way that you…

As I grow older people ask me, “Where have you = traveled?”  I will try to remember I have been in many = places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. = You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito.…

“Ronald Reagan’s Proclamation = 5147”National = Sanctity of Human Life Day, January 22nd, = 1984 “The values and freedoms = we cherish as Americans rest on our fundamental commitment to the = sanctity of human life. The first of the “unalienable = rights” affirmed by our Declaration of Independence is…

What do = you call an Irish doctor who is a great philosopher and a skin = specialist? Dermot O’Logical   What do you call a Irish woman = with a piece of glass behind both ears? Patti = O’Doors   What do you call an Irish woman = who…

Did you hear = about the reckless driver? He drove his expensive car into a tree and = found out how the Mercedes bends.   Did you hear = of the world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives = questioned?   Did you hear = about the…

1. If = you go snow skiing in Australia, what clothing should you bring? Warm = down-under-wear.   2. = Where is Timbuktu?  Between Timbukone and = Timbukthree.   3. What = if you don’t find the food in Budapest very filling? You may have = to leave Hungary.  …