A father = texted his son: "My Dear Son – Today is a day you will look = back on and treasure for all the days of your life. My best = love and good wishes. Dad." His Son texted = back: "Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn’t = actually…
08/01/17 Grif.Net – Puns R Us
The Swedish naval vessels now = have bar-codes painted on the side. Obviously this is so when they = return to port, officials can Scandinavian. Whenever I say I will only eat = healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and = snickers. My wife told me I…
07/31/17 Grif.Net – Short on Cash
[After a week in California with grandkids, I find = I’m now about broke. How do I know?] 10. = American Express called and said: "Next time, leave home without = it!" 9. I’m formulating a plan to rob the Los = Angeles food bank. 8. =…
07/29/17 Weekend Grif.Net – Commandments 11-20
[Everyone KNOWS the "10" Commandments; = few of us FOLLOW them all. Here from an unknown author, are the next = ten] 11th. Thou shalt not worry, for worry is the most = unproductive of all human activities. 12th. = Thou shalt not be fearful, for most of…
07/28/17 Grif.Net – New Pizza Place
[Brave New World of ordering Pizza = yesterday] – Hello! George’s pizza? – No sir, it’s now called Google’s = pizza. – So it’s a wrong number? – No sir, Google bought it. – OK. = Take my order please. – Well sir, = you want the…
07/27/17 Grif.Net – What We Eat
A well-known Doctor was giving a speech to a large = crowd on how what we eat affects our health. He said . . = . "The material we put into our stomachs should = have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.” “Red meat is full…
07/26/17 Grif.Net – From the Brain of a Friend
[Wayne M sent out the oddest little = conversations he has; thought he deserved some recognition here before = the staff takes away his computer time at the = home] Me: "I got here as soon as I could with = the anecdote."Friend dying of snakebite: "Please tell me…
07/25/17 Grif.Net – Driving Test
Proud grandpa here. Just found = out that my granddaughter scored 8 of 10 on her behind-the-wheel driving = test. Evidently the other two jumped out of the way in = time. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"…
07/24/17 Grif.Net – Adages Revisited
[Between my kids and my grandkids, we are coming up = with some ‘variants’ of the traditional ‘wise = sayings’ of past generations] “A = place for everything and everything all over the = place.” “Still water still runs all = over.” “If it ain’t broke, don’t…
07/22/17 Weekend Grif.Net – Psalm 23 Lessons
[What we can learn about life from the familiar = lines of Psalm 23] The Lord is my Shepherd THAT’S RELATIONSHIP! I = shall not want THAT’S = SUPPLY! He maketh me to lie down in green = pastures THAT’S = REST! …
07/21/17 Grif.Net – Summertime (5)
[Every summer we try to add to our = “it’s so hot” repertoire. Selected these for = this year’s heat wave. It has been 90F+ for 19 of the past = 21 days. Ugh.] It’s So Hot . . . I saw a chicken lay an = omelet It’s…
07/20/17 Grif.Net – Summertime (41)
[Overheard some word-plays in = my summertime travels and getting ready to pass them on to unsuspecting = grandkids] My company is better at = making suntan lotion than our competitors, but I don=1B$B!G=1B(Bt like = to rub it in. What did the air conditioning = unit say…
07/19/17 Grif.Net – Summertime (3)
It was at a miniature golf course on a = brutal 95F day in Florida that was overrun with tourists when I saw a = father with 3 kids making the rounds. "Who’s winning?" I asked = cheerfully. "I am" said one child. = "No, I am" said another.…