My mother taught me about STAMINA "You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished."   My = mother taught me about WEATHER "It l= ooks as if a tornado swept through your room."   My mother taught me ho= w to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I ye= lled because…

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE= "If you’re going to kill each other, do it out= side.  I just finished cleaning!"   My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out = of the carpet."   My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL…

Heard= a story on the radio: Wife: If your mother and your wife were attac= ked at the same time by a tiger, which would you save. =   Husband: That’s easy.  The tiger, since they are= an endangered species.   [Evidently ther= e were no follow-up questions since the…

Perso= nal computers are very modern. Many taking this quiz have lived through the= ir entire “history”. Not “computers” per se, since = the word entered English language in 1700’s and the mechanical device= s for almost 100 years.  But we’ve witnessed amazing development= s in the “PERSONAL” computers,  Can…

Joan, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of her c= hurch’s morals, publicly accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic = because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town’s only bar.   Georg= e stared at her for a moment and said nothing.   Later that evening,…

&#822= 0;The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my= days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”=AF Ja= ck London   “I went to the woods bec= ause I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of…

Q: Wh= y do fish live in salt water? A: Pepper makes them sneeze.   Q: What are spiders really good at?  A: Surfing the web.   Q: Why= don’t they play cards in the jungle?  A: Too many che= etahs.   Q: Why aren’t koalas consid= ered bears?  A:…

One d= ay God was looking down at earth and saw the questionable activities o= f retirees that was going on. He called His angels and&nb= sp;sent one to earth for a time. When the angel returned, he told God,= ‘Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and o=…

An ol= der gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery an= d he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the opera= tion.  As he was about to get the anesthesia, h= e asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?"  "Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just r= emember if it…

[If w= e gave an ACTOR’S name and the year of a famous movie, many would thi= nk it “too easy” a quiz.  So . . . we will give you the le= ading CHARACTER’S name (role that the actor played) and the year of a= famous movie and all…

I don= ‘t know why I didn’t figure this out sooner. &nbsp= ; I use shampoo in the shower. When I wash and rinse my hair the s= hampoo goes down my body. On the back label of the bottle it clearly states= : “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”  …

Today= (August 2nd) at sundown, marks the solemn Tisha B’av (9th of Av in the Jewish calendar). The date varies from late July t= o August on modern caledars, but it is a 25-hour period of prayer and fasti= ng in remembrance. We join them in contemplation and prayer, trusting…

[Bill S. sent these and wondered if = I could use some new puns and word plays for my monthly foray.  Every = reader of the Grif.Net will say, “Always, Bill, always.”]= I got run over by a rental car. It Hertz a lot.   Wanted: Roofing Contractor.Must be truss…