A musician who = joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time = with the rest of the band. Finally, the = captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you = overboard. It’s up to you, sync or swim."   ~~ A…

[But the = cruise ship humor floats on]   Odd questions = asked on board our ship and answers courtesy of the crew (if needed; = some are “duh” questions)   Q: “Is = the water in my cabin’s toilet fresh water or sea = water?” A: [Room = Steward] “I…

FROM = JONI’S DAILY RADIO BLOG (Feb 21, 2018)   Suffering = provides the gym equipment on which your faith can be = exercised.   Deny your = weakness, and you will never realize God’s strength in = you.   Suffering is = the textbook that will teach you who…

A friend wrote a letter to a small Cruise Ship company on which he = planned to take a vacation. He wrote, ”I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He = is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me = to…

Steve was a = professional in his early 50’s, retired and decided to start a = second career. However, he just couldn’t seem to get to work on = time. Every day he was 5, 10, even 15 minutes late. However, he was a = good worker, really clever, so…

There was some = mix-up with a woman’s cabin on board our ship. The Purser at = Reception was trying to remedy the situation.   He offered her = a choice in to replace her original room: “Would you like an = inside cabin or an outside cabin?”   She…

A passenger was furious when his steak arrived too rare.  =   “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say = ‘well done’?”    “I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the = waiter.  “On a cruise ship the staff hardly ever get = compliments.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin…

[Thoughts going thru my brain on every cruise I = take] I have no cruise control.  It’s like they almost = book themselves.   A cruise is = great for a lot of reasons: relaxing by the pool, dancing the night = away, eating 10 meals a day AND gaining…

[Here are some = good rules for everyday life]   Learn from the = past. Plan for the future. Live in the present. Live beneath = your means. Return everything you borrow. Stop blaming = other people. Admit it when you make a mistake. Give clothes you don’t wear to…

[Boarding ship = in a couple hours.  Today may NOT be the best day to be = dieting.  So wife shared some “motivation quotations” = to keep me off the 10-meal a day plan I usually enjoy on = board.]   "I’m not = overweight. I’m just nine inches too…

[Dieting = maxims might help me make it through another day.  Or = not.]   A successful = diet is the triumph of mind over platter.   A waist is a = terrible thing to mind.   How do = spacemen add more protein to their diet? They make it…

I hope when I = inevitably choke to death on gummy bears my obituary will just say I was = killed by bears and leave it at that.   Why am I = bothering to eat this chocolate? I might as well apply it directly to my = thighs.  …

I worry about = scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all = along.   About the only = time losing is more fun than winning is when you’re fighting = temptation.   If it wasn’t = for wrestling with my conscience, I’d get no exercise at = all.  …