[A sixth-grade teacher sent me this one. Sounds like= someone who knows what has happened in education.]   1. Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a= truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. = What is his profit ? 2. Teaching Math…

George Matheson lost his sight as a youth. It did not stop him = seeking education where he excelled at the University of Edinburgh with his= master’s degree at age 20. He became a pastor but by age 40 he was d= eep in “extreme mental distress”. One summer evening…

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what = his future holds.    His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You = are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything a= bout you."   The frog is thrilled! "This is great! Will I…

"You look terrific."   Translation:  "Oh, = please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving."   ~~~~~~~~   "I m= issed you.   Translation: "I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hun= gry, and we are out of toilet paper."   ~~~~~~~~~   I’m not lost.  I…

"Oh, don’t fuss.  I just cut myself; it’s no big d= eal."   Translation:  "I have severed a limb but will bleed to= death before I admit I’m hurt."   ~~~~~~~   "I do help around the ho= use."   Translation:  "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry=…

"Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard."   Tr= anslation:  "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."=   ~~~~~~~~   "That’s interesting, dear."   Translation:  "Ar= e you still talking?"     ~~~~~~~~   "Honey, we don’t need mater= ial things to prove our love." =  …

[Men = have a way of talking that is sometimes difficult for women to understand t= he meaning. This week, our goal is to help the wives and gals out there to = grasp what these short phrases actually mean. You’re welcome.]   "It’s a guy thing.&qu= ot;   Translation: …

=E2= =80=9CVirtue isn=E2=80=99t demanding more of others; it=E2=80=99s expecting= more of yourself.=E2=80=9D=E2=80=95 Frank Sonnenberg   =E2=80=9CAll of us tend to put off living. We are al= l dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoyi= ng the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.=E2=80=9D=E2= =80=95 Dale…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0468_01DC1E4F.579897A0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Q. Why was the teacher cross-eyed? A. She couldn’t control her pupils. Q. Why did the kid eat his homework? A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. Q. Why do parents love…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0333_01DC1D8F.1109DC60 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Q. In school, Dr. Bob, were you very bad at math? A. I can’t count how many times I failed. Q. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? A. Stop going in circles and…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_025F_01DC1CBE.CF273750 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Q. What did the triangle say to the circle? A. You’re pointless. Q. Why does the math book always look sad? A. They are full of problems. Q. Why does a music teacher need a ladder?…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0001_01DC1BF9.5C6A28A0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Q. Where do kids in New York City learn multiplication tables? A. Times Square. Q. Why did the kid study on an airplane? A. He wanted a higher education. Q. What do you do if a…

Q. On= the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words= were?A. June, July, and August.  = Q. = Why did the echo get detention the first day?A. It kept answering back.=   Q. What is a math teacher’s favor= ite season?A. Sum-mer.   Q.…