[Things I need to remember this week]   Remember . . = . Teach the grandkids: Cows go moo.  Pigs go oink.  = Turkeys go great with cranberry sauce.   This week is = Thanksgiving. Focus.  Start thinking about the fat boy in the = chimney only when you turn…

&#= 8220;John Welsh, = you are to report to the King’s Council in = Edinburgh."   When John = Welsh stepped out of his pulpit in Ayr, Scotland, on = July 23, 1605, the King’s men came for him with that order. The = Scottish pastor had preached that morning…

[More question = for the grandkids coming next week. Some old, some = new.]   What do you = call grandpa when he finds there is no bread in the = morning? Lack toast = intolerant   Why did the = newborn baby miss his umbilical cord? He had grown…

[Here is an = assortment of odd unattributed quotations I found in my files that may = bring you a smile:]   "No man = has ever been shot while doing the dishes, mopping floors, or taking out = the trash."   "When all = is said and done, it’s…

[Going to have = grandkids here next week, so have to get ready with some great questions = to keep them entertained.  Or I’ll use = these.] Why does Waldo = wear a striped shirt? He = doesn’t want to be spotted   What is orange = and sounds like…

Bacon is the = answer. What is the question?   If = you’re offended with our flag, I’ll help you = pack   I’d grow = my own food if I could only find bacon seeds   My Garmin GPS = has learned to say ‘Your other left”   Sometimes…

DID YOU HEAR . = . .   About the = cadet that said bad things about West Point? He was = expelled for being rotten to the corps.   About the lady = who saw a sign at the movies that said 50 cents for = servicemen? She paid…

The world = breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken = places.—Ernest = Hemingway   Character = cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial = and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and = success achieved.—Helen = Keller   A…

Tech: "Hello, this is tech = support. What can I help you with today?"   Bob: “I’m having a = problem with my computer not responding = quickly.”   Tech: “Well, (rattles off = 90-seconds of computer jargon in a foreign accent). Got = it?”   Bob: "Sorry, I don’t…

**My dad said = no one is perfect and that we should learn to embrace our = mistakes.  Then he gave me a big hug.   **Dad advises his daughter: "Never forget, sweetie, you’re = unique, like everyone else." **A boy asked his dad, “Am I adopted?”  His dad =…

I thought growing old would take = longer   When is ‘old enough’ supposed to kick = in?   Don’t grow up. It’s a = trap   Being cremated is my last hope for a smokin’ hot = body   I so good I can forget what I’m doing while…

Do you ever = get the feeling that the only reason we actually vote is to find out if = the pollsters were correct?   If God had = intended for me to vote He would have given me = candidates.   A fool and his = money are soon…

Beethoven, walking on stage: “So what up, guys? Are you ready = for some serious symphonies?” Excited crowd: = “YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!” Beethoven: “I can’t hear = you!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love!"