One night, Jim was walking home when, all of a sudden, he = caught a thief reaching his hand into his pocket.  Jim and the = pick-pocket began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground as Jim put = up a tremendous fight.   However, the thief managed to…

I just ate a = frozen apple. Yes, I know. That’s hard = core.   You may ask = why my flock of sheep is purple.  Well, it’s because I herd = it through the grapevine.   An fellow from = India has moved in next door. He has traveled to all…

If cats and dogs didn’t have fur, would we still pet = them?   If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then = what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?   If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?   If swimming is good for your…

A fiend = suggested a way to relax is to list all the states I’ve been in = over the course of my life.Have you ever tried that?  Sounded = like fun!   So far = I’ve listed . . .   *Depressed=   *Bewildered   *Emotional = Wreck  …

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police = were questioning Sean.   "Did she say anything before she died?" asked = the detective.   "Yes, but it will be difficult to = share.” When the detective asked him why, he answered = “There’s a lot of…

[A song for my = funeral, and for every day until then] Be still, my soul: the = Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.Leave = to thy God to order and provide; in every change, He faithful will = remain.Be still, my soul:…

After our long road trip, I mentioned to my wife that = whenever possible I’m now going to use valet parking.   When she asked why, I asserted that valets at least = remember where they parked my car.   Makes sense to this old codger. = ~~ Dr Bob…

At a planning dinner for our college class upcoming = 50th reunion, several of my friends were arguing whether men = or women were more trustworthy.   "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can = keep a secret."   "I don’t know about that," answered a gal from = our…

[Why did you leave your last job?? Answers from = prospective employees . . . ]   "Responsibility makes me nervous."   "They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:00 = every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions."   "Left my last job when met with a string…

[Real statements on Applications]   “Here are my qualifications for you to = overlook."   "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting = Award."   "Education: College, August 1880 – May = 1984."   "Work Experience: Dealing with customers’ conflicts = that arouse."   "Develop and recommend an annual…

From job interviews and employment = forms: "Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as = ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job."   "Marital Status: Often. Children: = Various."   "I am extremely loyal to my present firm (please = don’t let them know of my immediate availability)."   “I…

As a youth = (and newly born-again Christian by the Gospel of grace), I heard the = story of Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Ed McCully, Peter Fleming, and Roger = Youderian as missionaries to the Auca Indians in Ecuador. These bold men = had a heart for sharing the Gospel…

At the reunion = I chatted with grandkids about the advantages of how me getting old was = like our dog.   After all, the dog and me . . = .   ~No one = expects much of us. ~We’re = both in the same old leaky boat. ~We can…